Mostly harmless (corto) wrote,
Mostly harmless

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the keys...

Do you give the keys to your journal to your SO?

I had the very unfortunate experience to bear witness to something distasteful last week in journal land.

A journal friend ... someone that has been able to read several of my more personal posts... got in a bit of a dust up with her SO. Now I dunno if he found "the keys", was pissed off and acted out of spite or if an argument led to the keys being shared... I dunno... but the bottom line is he put up a killer post in her journal, under her name, and ranted on and on about how terrible we (her friends) were... and how awful she was.

It was kinda pathetic.

I said as much in a reply. I sent her a text message and I wrote to him, cc'ing her. Today, he wrote back. All that accomplished was to remind me of the whole thing.

Now there are larger issues (with their relationship) at stake in that situation but THAT IS NOT THE POINT OF THIS POST.

My problem is this;

If he can post in her journal... ...he can read everything I have ever posted to a protected entry in my journal that she had access to.

There are two distinct points of view at play here... (as the situation applies to journal friends that indeed do have SO's).

1. Hey, I share everything and there is nothing in my journal he/she doesn't' know and if you take me you get him/her 'cause we come as a package deal.

2. My SO respects my privacy as I do his/hers. We share many things about journal content, but in order to respect the privacy of my friends we do not share our passwords... and besides, it's "my" journal and I may elect to say private things...

I can dig that some people come to lj only to play and be played with.

If, as many of my friends do, you come to lj to explore, push, heal and nurture (yourself and others) as well as play... then it's likely your journal content will be more personal than that which is only made or exchanged in fun.

It is sometimes the case that the SO's of my lj friends have their own journal. When dialog shows it's a comfortable idea, I like to establish lj friendships with the SO.

In most cases I linked you to my friends list... not your SO

Do you share the keys?

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