Mostly harmless (corto) wrote,
Mostly harmless

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Survivor 3 Update!

Survivor III : Update

Africa : P.T. (post twink)

Wherein , well, frankly, people swell, shuffle, look sick, dance like fat bastard, old-foghorns grow little horns pouring water on the wee Chiquita, we learn about life sucken for a native (UG) Frank gets "sensual"????

Epi Quick Hit : The Show in 85 words or less...
Thong-Nana looking like a swollen leather sack…, talking like a winner (btw). Ethan and a hoody don't mix, and Toms getting thinner like a steven king book. It's all about the food tonight. Reward? Retread S2 yummies auction. The Wiz is a bigot - you surprised? A bigot with a spigot - giving the girls some water action. Loads of Kim candy, followed by immunity via a memory game. Lucky Lex time, and Frank just does not know when to shut -t-f-up! Pilot to bombardier, release the wackjob! Franks bomb blows at council.

Frank's I-Am-A-Freak Quote of the week!
As if he is going to endear himself to the gang on council day morning… he gets all chatty… and describes it to the camera as "Let 'em see theres a soft sensual side of me." Yea right… you freak. I can still that soft sensual side imitating an elephant… oh, and then he goes on to piss everyone off about how the "liberal special interests groups are monopolizing the media…"

Best Quote
During the food auction (Reward challenge was not-so-much… everyone got 20,000 shillings… about 200 bucks US$… and they bid on delicacies like; a beer… a choco Sunday, a chicken dinner… So they battle one another for the right to be taken advantage of… then they barter with each other to divvy up the plate… Any ways, Teresa bids the bundle on a hoagie… it's a huge one… and after taking a big messy bite looks up to answer the "is it good?" question and says "Good 'nuf to make you wanna slap yer mama!"

Life at Mojo Mati… or is that Mati Mojo?
The show gets underway with some talk about how "slow" everyone is and how swollen Thong-Nana's legs are… (it's just fricking gross… the sock dent in her calf is like an inch deep… yuck). Ethan and lil'Kandy-Kim are out goofen after dark and encounter a lion… big woop…it's on the other side of the barrier and they get all worried. Ethan teases Kim with "I think I can hear it say "Kim kim kim kim kim …."

Tom, the man with the big freakin boil on his neck, has lost like 40 lbs since he landed in Africa. He gets kinda light on his feet during the reward challenge… spurred on by drinking (more like "pounding back…") a beer, he bids for and wins a "mystery meal" and gets a breakfast of Ham and Pancakes… which, btw, he co-bid with Ethan for… Ethan is Jewish and possibly adheres to the food rules… regardless, Tom starts dancing around calling Ethan "Jew boy" that "won't be able to eat this…" Ethan and he talk later with Tom all apologetic and Ethan saying "you're a bigot but that's ok".

We get a great piece of footage showing a dust devil brewing in the Savannah… really kinda cool.

The immunity challenge is this deal where Jeff reads the gang a story about the life of a Samburo Warrior… from birth to death… all kinds of native bush-man gross stuff… rights of passage? Removing two bottom teeth so they can feed ya when you get sick… or maybe the circumcision of the young teenage that is not allowed to flinch without bringing shame to the family… maybe Lex should volunteer for a "gone native" badge of honour? Then they have to run around collecting badges for answering questions about the story. It was a close race… Lex almost looses to Frank. But does indeed not loose and gets immunity. So what does Frank do?

He shoots off his mouth about every negative thing you can imagine the next morning. Teresa is beside herself trying to save his sorry wack-job ass but alas… the fix is in.

Eye Candy
The gang goes to the water hole for some R&R and Uncle Tom starts giving the girls a shower… pouring water from a big gourd. As Nana-Thong and Kim describe him as harmless, he is LOOKING down Kims pulled out bikini top as he pours cold water over her lil'girls. He dances around with joy afterward… the old dog. (hahaha)
The council of dump
Poor poor pitiful Frank… Teresa is just bawling after voting for him - something she did not have to do (he got a lot of votes) but she wanted to ensure the gang knows she can be trusted… hahahaha… just tell that to Lex after he finds out she was his mystery vote (a theme that has not come back up btw).

Frank is toasted at the council… oh, and Brandon and Kelly looked all fit and happy as Jury members… they're gonna really roast Lex if he isn't tossed next week.

K… gotta cut this off… busy busy corto day…

Later skaters.

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