Mostly harmless (corto) wrote,
Mostly harmless

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Survivor 3 Update!

Survivor III : Update

"See Ya Sugarbear"

Wherein the homophobe dates a scruffy boi, the cute girl shows off us her tummy, mop-head continues to be cute-as-a-button, especially when he slaps Nana Thong-Butt's ass, the red necks bitch about the women, and the twinky bitch slaps the drill sergeant.

Epi Quick Hit : The Show in 75 words or less...
Full moon. It's a free for all, alliances be damned. Tom and Frank come together while whining about waiting for women, and their shit is attracting serious flys... bugs everywhere. Tom is growing a horn out of his neck (a boil) and Kim is getting serious camera time. They pair off for the reward and Frank gets to go to the movies with Brandon... there is much snickering! The immunity is about making fire... and Lex burns the fastest (foreshadowing?) and the rat-bastard gets the axe!

Frank's I-Am-A-Freak Quote of the week!
"I'm still an old-fashion kinda guy." (translation: I don't like gay people, and I'm not that impressed with having to go on a date with one.)

Best Quote
"Women like to squeeze and cause pain. That's one way they can get back at'cha."
ah, heck ... another? ok.
"Something's you want 'em to touch and they wont. Something's you don't want 'em to touch and they will. Typical of the beasts."
These come to you fresh from the Grand Wizard Tom on one of many of his rants about women from tonight's show.

Life in Moto Maji
Well, OlTom has this big ginormous killer boil growing on his neck. Apparently he had one in his arm pit that the ladies squeezed out a (sorry about this...) "little cup of puss". Geez! So they show the gang trying to squeeze this monster and ... and? no dice. It's too hard. He comments that he thinks its a new "horn" growing on him. All I can say is "Ick!X10!!!!".

Kimmy gets paired with Tom for the reward challenge (they kids did a random draw to make teams of two) and immediately does a hand stand. Her shirt falls and we get camera-linger on her tummy. She gets (as I foretold, btw) major camera time tonight and watch for next weeks deal with Tom pouring water over her titties.

Brandon is totally messed. His swing vote from last week is biting him all over his tender spots as everybody but lex puts him in the dog house.... um, the hyena house (this is Kenya afterall).

The reward challenge is an obstacle course that leads to an evening with a 16 mill movie and snacks... lotsa snacks... hot dogs, candy and OF COURSE endless Mountain Dew. Everybody ends up in teams of two to do the challenge but of note is that Frank the homophobe ends up with Brandon and everybody else gets a big laugh (out loud!) about this. During the challenge we see Brandon just drilling Frank "Come on Frank... Go! Go! Go!..." etc. It was totally priceless. They win. Of course, a whole new round of laughing goes down about Franks "date" with Brandon. Of note in the challenge was a great shot of Ethan giving Nana-thong a clean ass slap to egg her on. When Frank and Brandon go on their date they are told the movie is "Out of Africa" (Streepe and Redford). As the camera covers the set up, the native sound track includes (no kidding here... I checked and re-checked) the lyrics "Get it on... Get it on... ahhhhh come on!". Poor Frank was totally uncomfortable ... like they were watching "Out in Africa" or something.

The immunity challenge is this "build a fire to burn the string" deal... they get a magnifying glass to start it. Kimmy is practically in tears trying to win. Frank gets overzealous and breaks a rule, getting disqualified. Ultimately its a close race between Kim and Lex. Lex takes it....

Evil Do'er
Lex is all about telling folks he wont vote for Brandon. Everybody is basically sick of his sorry painted ass and winning immunity is all that saved him. He is forever saying "He (Brandon) save our asses...." and everybody knows that really means "he save my ass..." and they wear this "but not for long" face as he speaks.

Eye Candy
Ethan made many many on cam close ups getting a clearly spoken "he's cute" from Z... :D So, in support of all the comments from last week, I will concede that he is the eye candy boy of this show. Kim is going to be used by the editors to generate a little perky tape of her own... just watch next week.

The alliances are for shit. Everybody is out for number one and they all know it. It's very different then either of the previous two Survivor series. There are two general camps, essentially divided along the line of Franks dislike of Brandon and Lex's desire to pay Brandon back for the ass saving last week.

Brandon does not live through the council of dump so essentially the only loose reason for alliance is gone again. They will have a new enemy next week and I think it will be Lex.

At council, we are treated to more of what was being slightly given all through tonight's show... namely Tom speaking some other frigging language. His redneck twang is getting very very heavy. I could barley understand him during his moment under the gun during council. I did make out his last line, however. As Brandon rises to leave Tom calls out "See ya SugarBear".

Two things:
~ the teaser for next week shows Tom being invited to pour a bucket of water into Kim's pulled-away-from-her-chest top... the smile on his face threatens to crack his head. Watch for this.
~ the gang needs a new enemy and if it turns out to be Lex I think this will put Frank into serious contender position for being in the final four.

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