Mostly harmless (corto) wrote,
Mostly harmless


Good afternoon, System Support.
May I help you?
Yes sir...
May I have your name?
Larsdeninhoffersly... what seems...
Yes... Lars. Works for me.
No I don't speak Polish.
Actually sir we didn't manufacture that...
Ye.. Coul... Perha...
Thank you...
No, that wasn't sarcasm...
Perhaps you could just start by telling me the serial number?
Yes, I can wait.
Yes, I am, in fact, still here.
No, actually that's the name of a city sir. The serial number will begin with the words "Serial Number".
No sir, that wasn't sarcasm...
Indeed... I'll wait.
That seems to be it.. yes. Now could you say that again... but could you try to not snap your tongue stud against the phone?
Oh... yes... I see.
Thanks. ok, let me just bring up our records on that system.
Ahh... hmm.. No. Nope, nothing.
So you didn't actually purchase this system from us.
No I don't have a record of your calls to that company... would that help?
Well then... this is all good isn't it.
What actually is the problem sir?
No sir I don't know what you installed on that system.
No, from here, we have no way of knowing what web sites you have been... Excuse me?
Is there some way we could agree that screaming at me will not speed us on our way to a solution?
hmmm. helpful.
No I'm not certain that I can do that, and if I could, well, I guess I would want a tongue stud.
Yes sir that was sarcasm.
You mean besides your name? No, I don't know who you are.
Do you know who I am?
No? ok...

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