Mostly harmless (corto) wrote,
Mostly harmless

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BB2 Update

BB2 Update: Ego's and Eggshells... Everybody is walking on something.

Ok, this was the nomination show and the true beginning of the end-game. With that comes a healthy dose of the absurd. There is no shortage of the vulgar in this update and that's only because it's there to report on. Be warned...

In Brief
Lord Hardy's ego has quite simple burst. To quote Weasly Will, he has "gone over to the dark side". The show tonight made that apparent. The feeds however give us some really juicy bits on just how desperate they all have become in the 50+ days of isolation for entertainment... basically they've become somewhat nasty.

The show picks up right after the HoH competition and winds a complicated path to the nominations. Bunky dives into the suck mode trying to not get nominated... a fruitless task. Hardy teases Bunky constantly about being a potential nominee... we're treated to a lovely scene of Bunky slapping Hardy's ass. The real question is who will nominated along with him. Monica's ego must be really taking a beating with the constant reminder that she is "not a threat" hahaha... In the end, Will and Bunky get nominated.

En route to the noms... we get this frigging priceless segment on Will's hair. Ok, he has phenomenally huge hair... he brushes is "up" giving himself a head zone not at all unlike Landow (any Babylon 5 fans out there?). Any ways, his hair is huge... the stuff they were showing just had me howling in laughter. Hardy comments "Wills hair is having more fun that Will is." This was the lead in to a major hair cut scene. Nichole cuts his hair... Although they don't show it, it right around the same time that Hardy has his hair dyed black and AND Nichole gets Bunky to cut her hair... just a trim mind you...

Oh and a word for fans of the first Big Brother... this was in the live feeds:

Bunky: "it may have been more interesting if BB put a gay guy in the house who was not out of the closet and was thinking about it. H says, you mean like last year. (this is a reference to Josh!!!!! - wow)

We move on to a food competition that takes us into a long segment on plots and strategy and finally to the nominations... Everything fits into the regular pattern, so I'll just dive in... Note: Live feed quotes are in italics...

Most Memorable Moment
Hands down this has to be the look of fricking terror on Hardy's face when he uses a body fat caliper that BB provided (along with a scale, btw) to see that he is 13% body fat. He just cannot believe it. He gets all pissed off at Will, the person he has asked to read the number on the side of the caliper.

Tear Patrol
Hardy shed the only tear tonight ... and a weenie little tear it is... right at the end of his nomination speech when he's talking to Bunky.
We are moved to shed a few on their behalf while watching them suffer through the Bunky imposed PB&J four-day torture. At one point they are talking about various eating scenarios... Nichole comments that if BB offered her great meal, "I'll eat mine off Bunky's hairy ass!"
BB plays up the Bunky PB&J thing with some humour... coming over the PA system and saying:
"BB Voice: at a time you will be called to the DR to be offered $15,000. If you accept it, Bunky will have to eat PB&J for a week." Everyone laughs.
The gang is in the throws of food deprivation and discussing possible luxury challenges... so they ask Nicole;
They asked for $500,000 would you eat a hamburger?
Nichole: NO
Will: I'd eat a live cow for $500,000.

Nichole is filling the editing room floor with her moments born of serious pms, egged on (no pun intended) by Lord Hardy's ever expanding ego. Sitting with Will after Hardy goes to bed she comments on her obvious lap dog demeanor "Now I have to fucking give him another fucking massage."
Nichole hopped on the scales to find that she has gained 4 lbs... (FOUR stupid pounds... like she needs to take a crap!) She goes mental over this... demanding that people tell her it is all muscle gain. We are treated to a Diary Room Will segment commenting "Hello? Nichole? Your getting FAT!!!!" (it was priceless).

Monica? where the hell is Monica? If she wins this game it will be a travesty of poetic justice! She's back to laying low and basically doing nothing but playing backgammon with Nichole... they play this game all day and night...

Bunky's spine kinda grew a bit tonight... it was great great great! (although the Diary Room scenes with Bunky's big "Thumb Head" filling the teevee screen were kinda scary!) Hardy, the consummate health nut... the guy's who's home town is holding a Cancer Society Fund Raiser for his mom... smokes. In fact, he's the only house-mat that dares to smoke in the house. HoH makes him rather bold. Any ways, he's run out of smokes... Bunky, who does not smoke, brought a jillion packs of smokes into the house - for bartering. Well Hardy wants some... (Bunky's supply is getting slim) So Bunky is telling Hardy that the deal is one protein bar for one smoke. Hardy cannot frigging believe it... he finally caves enough to tell Bunky he'lll trade one "Strawberry Shortcake Protein Bar" for two cigs... Bunky demurs... and Hardy gets all "You are making a mistake man! You're forgetting what is going on here... " as he threatens to nominate Bunky if he doesn't take the deal... what a pecker. Bunky, however, is having none of that. He totally stands up to Hardy and Hardy has no fucking idea how to handle that. The thing is, Bunky already knew he was going to be nominated so Hardy's threat was pretty lame.

Bunky: Some gay people name their dogs Tammy Faye after Tammy Faye Baker.
Will: Why do gay people like Tammy Faye Baker?
Bunky: I don't know! We feel sorry for her.
Will: You know I know here son, right?
Bunky: Well everybody she marries goes to prison!

Hardy? What a turd. No really. The food competition was a really cool deal where the kids had to build a tower out of big foam blocks. BB gave them a mini version of the game for them to play with... The idea is to build a tower from the rectangular blocks then remove a block from the lowest level and put it on the top... there-by making the tower taller and increasingly unstable. The food challenge was with giant foam blocks with the either "Fat", "Carbs" or "Protein" on them. The house-mats get a food product on the menu from each category by reaching certain goals in the tower building effort. Well, the problem was that Hardy cannot play (he's HoH) and he seriously wants Carbs!! He's asking the tower builders about it and Bunky comes back with how badly he wants "Fats"... Hardy replies with "Why don't you go inside and play hide and fuck-off!" Later he's doing weights and talking to Bunky. When he goes to lift he frigging screams "SPOT" ... his ego encrusted way of saying "Hey Bunky, can you spot for me?" He is constantly earning the hatred of all he encounters...

The house-mats are talking about sex - no seriously detailed talks about blow jobs, anal sex, vaginal cum... blah blah blah... and we get this clue from Hardy that his ex girlfriend knew exactly how to control him!!!

Hardy: says when he dates a girl, she must like to give head... and she must want to do it often.
Hardy: if dates a girl, wants her to... for example, my ex. Every time I got on the phone, my ex would take my dick out and suck just to fuck with him. I liked that shit.

Will! He's been pissing the hell out of Nichole (on the feeds). The show gave us tidbits that made it seem like they would expel Bunky but it is definitely not a done deal. He was totally classic Will tonight ... summed up with a great scene where he mentions in the Diary Room that Hardy and Nicole think he's their pal. Hardy strikes a deal about how if Will is not evicted and wins HoH he wouldn't nominate Hardy and Nichole. Then we see Will saying "I clearly will (nominate them both). I would stab them both in the back and leave them both to bleed and I wouldn't even clean it up, but if I did I would use a dirty cloth and leave it on the bathroom floor." (referencing Nicholes psychotic obsession with cleaning...)
Oh, and Will was doing this "Flossing" thing with some string called "Whitening Tape" ... these people all have beautiful teeth... I've never heard of that tape but it sounds cool.

Ok, so Hardy nominated Will and Bunky.
Monica and Nichole will vote. Hardy will break a tie.
Nicole votes to evict Bunky 'cause Lord Hardy tells him to...
Monica votes to evict Will... cause she's monica...
Hardy breaks the tie and keeps Will.


I'm telling you that nobody that's been evicted likes Hardy or Nichole one stinking bit. Regardless of who gets evicted... Bunky or Will, the other one... the one that does not get evicted will be the Big Money Winner!!!

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