The objectification of a hard-body... the shaving of everyone else's... the scenes you'll never see on national teevee... and, of course, old people being abused. Yes, the Tuesday Big Bro "What'll we do with all this tape?" episode has come and gone.
Al Shapero, the producer/director dude, really oughtta cut his editors loose one of these days. This "excess tape" episode had all the makings of a great show but we, the Nielsen's' Numbers, were treated to mostly pathetic intrigue attempts.
There was a luxury competition... A cd of music you totally dig and a disc-man to play it on was up for grabs... the house-mats had to guess who had selected what from the pool of tunes representing their fav tunes then competed for the prize by tossing cd-blanks at a floating bowl - the quintessential carnival game. Monica wins this and gets Micky - try not to look at my nose - Jackson. What we didn't see was that BB gave the kids a runners up prize of the cd selected by the house-mat that scrounges up the most blanks from the bottom of the pool (basically the clean-up game from Romper Room) and the disc-man winner is to share the player with that person. Hardy won that.
Speaking of Hardy... he won the America's Choice prize... this week it was a 3 minute phone call from home. Hardy's grandma was put in a room with a cam on her somewhere and made to sit on a phone waiting for Hardy for who knows how long (BB's track record on timing really sucks). She was given a bunch of rules about what she could and could not discuss with Hardy... their convo was basically a bunch of I love you's and you're just great's...
The kids all played "who ya gonna vote for" for the whole show with mini sub plots emerging between Will and Nicole (an effort to save Mike Boogie via Krista's demise) and Kent being an all around dick head.
Dr. Evil (Kent) at one point goes off on a load pointing out crow's and an eerie cross appearing in the grass... he feeds this to Monica who eats it all up. Hello? Monica, the guy gets phone calls from BB every morning in his HoH room plotting on ways to entertain you guys... Any ways, they get a ouiji board that night and moi goofyness ensues. The feeds report a spooky moment when Krista's deceased mothers name comes up .... but mostly the board and resident spirits spend all their time calling Mike "P U S S Y" etc. It was pretty bogus but a nice time waster I guess.
Most Memorable Moment
Hardy walks past Bunky and Nicole and Bunky gets jiggy with a story about being stranded on a desert island with no food but a boring ol'zucchini - and how after a few days that zuc starts looking pretty good... All of this is his explanation how he has such a major hard on for Hardy. "Oh and then the zucchini touches you but of course you can't touch it back." Oh geez... Hardy is totally being objectified in this show. He, early on, bitched about how peeps immediately think of him as mindless or "just this body"... and is all about how this is so hard on him and makes his life so awful... oh, can you hand me another box of Kleenex here...
Nicole cries about missing her hubby... cries about not winning the America's Choice thing... and then almost cries about being picked on in a house-mat's meeting because she's such an obsessive compulsive about cleaning. Um... she washes the toilet every second day... no, I mean, gloves, bowl cleaner and major scrub'en. "well I do it one day then wait a day to see if anybody else is gonna do it next then I do again the second day because, of course, nobody does anything..." (yea I'm paraphrasing a bit... sue me.)
Oh and of course Hardy cries it up over talk'en to granny.
Monica, she-of-the-many-hair-extensions, is just frigging amazing... she does nothing, practically says nothing, and is basically never around when conflict picks up. What ever she's made of, they gotta package that and coat jet fighters with it... Miss. Stealth rides again.
Krista... ah Krista, Krista, Krista... she has spent moocho time in a seriously pissed off mood in the last few days. Kent's little bitch fest at the nomination party really tee'ed her off. She's forever saying "he's on my very last nerve.." and that's usually about Kent.
Nicole is little miss schemer beamer girl. She's working her nice, round, down-town-white ass off a'cook'en and a'cleanen and she's workin the boiz. Major Hardy body massages, over which the Bunkster is infinitely jealous. And she's sub plotting with Big-Hair-Will to form a new alliance.
hahahaha... oh how times change... I can still see Kent going on about how gays are aberrations and wierd and then having a near coronary event over the realization that Will shaves his whole body. Well Bunky sleeps at the foot of his bed and the two of them had a date-nite dinner together (zero air time on that) and... and... the shot, in tonight's show, of him lying on the pool floaty lounger in his bathing suit with his hands behind his head is a dead give away to the events of Sunday past... (or was it Saturday?). His body is hairless... I'm assuming he left the bush intact. But otherwise he is smooooooth.
We got to watch Nicole using the shaver on Will... while they schemed and plotted. We didn't get to see he shave Mike... the live feed transcriber people are a hardy bunch... they were able to recover from their fits of laughter long enough to recount how Nicole shaved mikes ass! With Mike holding a baggie under his ass, standing in the yard with his pants down and bent over, to catch the hair.... She puts on the big yellow rubber gloves and puts the shaver to his cheeks... yup it was a shaving party. Ol, Will is rubbing off on everybody... I'm waiting for a few days of stubble to show up... hahaha...
Mike is went - in the show - from confident in his ouster to hoping the Will and Nicole coalition will fry Krista... we'll see.
Isolated and bored to freakin tears... of course the house-mats will become a little nutty. Their shaving each other, messing with each other via a ouiji board, and arguing about everything... and swearing? lordy lordy these cat's could burn the ears off a Route 66 Long Haul Driver.
Kent as HoH can't vote...
Krista and Mike are nom'ed so they don't vote.
Will - will vote for Krista
Nicole - will vote for Krista
Monica - will vote for Mike
Hardy - will vote for Mike
Bunky - will vote however Kent tells him to vote... and if Kent is pissed enough at Krista .... hmmm... Mike has a chance.
I so seriously hope the next HoH is Will... so much evil, in one little house.