Mostly harmless (corto) wrote,
Mostly harmless

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Sorry but I just had to...

BB2 Update : This ain't your Mama's BigBrother

Quote: 3:24 EST Monday:
Will: "I've been hard for like two hours... we have got to..."
Shannon: "you dork..."

Ok, I just cannot wait for Wednesday... I just can't do it... this is too amazingly hilarious. I mean I could write a hundred pages on the material this house of phenom's has presented in the last 48 hours alone. No really.... OMFG!!!

Noting that CBS has not elected to restrict the access to the live feeds yet (and that was supposed to end last night) I'm checking the LF's and reading the transcripts ... yup, I'm hooked... but I am hooked like you get hooked on looking at a train wreck.

Lets dive right in... Justin is a sick sick little fucking pig of a human that should never have made it past the CBS Psychological examination ... and I'm telling you here and now that he will be removed from the big brother house by CBS sometime in the next couple of weeks... I mean, I'd like to be wrong about that.. but holi moli folks... umm... Ok, last night jerkface (sorry ecstasia but I'm calling Justin Credible Jerface from here on in... :D)

Jerkface was toe to toe with the Kent last night over the idea that Kent was touching Jerkfaces' pillow... he was threatening to beat the crap out of him there and then... Kent practically wet his pants. And to round out Jerkfaces personality, lets see how he reacts to Sherrie's picture of a 14 year old niece - and I quote - "Old enough to pee, old enough for me."

Jerkface's most recent plans? Well they concern Nicole... to quote his jerkfaciness, in a convo Sunday night with Shannon and Will, he "want's to have sex with Nicole in the store room, then finish on her face then spit at her and walk away." (pig) Will and Shannon's response? "Dudes, awesome!" and Shannon calls him "funny"

Oh Shannon? She's like an evil character on Zena Warrior Princess, let's call her the Nile Queen, Cleopatra (a nice historical bitch) - thus making Will a reasonable Anthony!!! - Cleopatra!, she's a piece of work. She mentions her sister by name and then says that her sister is addicted to Cocaine... and that she is the middle of a divorce. So I'm thinking her case for custody, etc. just took a marginal down turn. Cleopatra then goes on to say that Hardy is a "big pussy" because he hangs with the other girls... Of course it doesn't occur to Cleopatra that this logic makes her a big dick for hanging with the boiz.

Anthony? (Will) ... let me sum up with another direct quote: "Clearly, nobody is more disgusted by fat than I am, but I think that you would look great pregnant." Bottom line, he is a shallow, wannabe beaver hound that is now officially Cleopatra's lap dog.

Note: in stark contrast to any previous BB epi I've heard of, I am watching the live feed right now and seeing Cleopatra in a skimpy thong bikini with Camera Man holding the butt shot as long as he can... I mean, I'm not complaining but hola!

K, These people are displaying every Reason Adolescents Totally Suck. (RATS) so their rats... ok.

The rats have divided themselves into two camps... the insides and the outsides... denoting the locations they go to have their ART OF WAR conversations... and let me tell ya, the plot is thickening as I type. They plan to stage a fight between Cleo and Anthony... and they have finally realized how important the HOH position is for manipulating the evictions. I'm guessing the competition to become a HOH will be plenty hard this week ... or at the very least heavily reeking of manipulation by CBS to place a specific person in the HOH position.

The "insides" include Sherrie, Bunky, Monique, Autumn... and I'm not sure but maybe Hardy (he's very "on the fence" - something the "outside" rat's say they are going to punish him for ... (I'm not making this stuff up here... ) These kids are not quite as evil as the outsides... but they are certainly wonderfully adolescent... Bunky: (Talking about Hardy using a facial mask) "I've never had a facial mask." Sherrie: "I bet you have..."

Ok, I just wanted to get this stuff off my chest... I mean these rats are totally sexed up... naked hottubs, sex under the watchfull BB night vision cameras, penis size measurements, racist comments, homophobic plots, backstabbing, moi nakedness, and enough plotting to make the cold war look like childs play. AND IT'S ONLY DAY 9...

This ends todays special broadcast of the emergency BB Update system... hahahaha...

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