Mostly harmless (corto) wrote,
Mostly harmless

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BB Update 2

BB2 "CBS Packers, The Friendly Meat Company"
Special Company Announcement:

Introducing the New Ronco Slaughter System!
Our unique two stage system, delivers a stunning Bludgen
Followed up with our patented Guntlet of Despair
these two stages are guaranteed to utterly shatter the
psychi of your potential meal,
and - the best part - will most certainly draw the next meal into the hopper!"
What could be simpler?

Episode review:
Well there you have it. The second TV show delivers the stunning blow to the first victim. Mr HOH boi, Micki-booger, did a wonderful job right up until he made the comment about the idea of Sherrie being so "well liked...".

In brief, the show gave us wicked cheesecake of the girls and the boiz... got to see Shannon's perfect gluts in the thong one-piece, and hoo boi, did we see the boiz... They (CBS) cribbed a little sound track action from a porno for the long assed pan pan of the hard-body guys at play... They, true to form, bastardized reality to inspire us with seeming plot lines: the Kent homophobia tangent, the Will and Shannon Show, and the Fox Network competition angle, sex sex sex...

The good stuff:
Yes, they licked whip cream off of the flesh between the many breasts in that house while hot tubing... although you wont see that on prime time. But if you missed the show, you did miss seeing the boi-toy's dressing in two piece bikini's and shaken it! Let alone diving with "it" into a pool of oatmeal in a challenge that had the losers searching for name-keys to win access to the hot tub. The live feed cameras cut to the front door or black on several occasions. Censorship of the worst kind.

Reality: as far as that can go in carefully planned head-screw includes Bunky being totally "out" and nobody having a problem at least, not the way it looked on TV. Will chases Shannon around like a lost puppy to the point of harassment! She is running from him - no really. He's being a git. (more on that in a sec) Kent is reviled... and Justin is a beaver hound of the most base sort (all your bases are belong to us!).

Now, this is where you're definitely gonna thing wtf and not believe a word... but I'm telling you for true... as some one else just commented in Live Feed transcription land... "This is not your mama's Big Brother."

The Saturday overnight time at BB Land got fricking nuts! Jerry Springer has ZERO, nothing at all, on these people. Let's start with a good OMG moment... Shannon has been running from Will all day... how does she deal with this? She has sex - yes - with him at midnight... Well they tried... all the right "under the covers" motions were there... This on the heels of a long camera sequence of them in the storage room... her sitting on the freezer, him standing up against her. She puts her leg around him and she proceeds to make him her freaking slave for life. She is a total diva... all leaning back and pressing against him... then? hahaha She gets down and backs away... leaving Will with a major torque problem in very loose fitting pants... He struggles to rearrange the goods. This is the moments before they go for it in a bedroom (and honestly, it looked like an abortive attempt at sex... They were going at it but ended quickly... mmmm Will? I seriously think she is trying to work him with masterful manipulation... and I'm telling you right now... he is one of the most shallow humans in existence... he thinks he is manipulating her.

Moving right along... Time passes and the crew - it's only been a few days here - are totally entrenched in alliances and plots... We're talking about full on convo's about staging arguments to manipulate the other alliance, Mike and Will calling Bunky a Fag and getting down right nasty. The Kent/Nicole alliance is dumb as two posts... thinking they can manipulate the others by her performance on Monday night's "Please don't evict me" speeches...

And the toppers? ok, I'll just gloss over the penis size comparisons in the Hot Tub... no kidding... (one group goes on to laugh at Justins' little guy). Um a quote? how 'bout one from Sherrie? "Show it to me again Hardy, and will you slap me on the head with it?" or one from Autumn? about Mike... "Does that poke your eye out when it get's hard?" Ok, so just imagine this convo starting with the half-wits from BB1? hahaha... not likely.

Or maybe Kent (the next to be tossed, unless Shannon and Will become too pathetic to deal with...) when he comments on the "pencil sized dildo" he bought his wife... and how "she really loved it..." (does he actually think she won't hear?) He actually talks about "reevaluating this marriage thing..." (dear lord he is weak). A direct quote (kent, umm I'm so wanting to just start calling him "cunt" but that will be pretty crude) "you know me and my wife aren't really that close". This excuse for a man is just total trash.

Mr. Bunk (who has had BB2 shaved into the hair on his back) ... has made it clear he wants to "do" Justin and hopes Gregg (Bunky's spouse) will not mind.

The Rhodes Scholars (Will and Mike) are talking like they are the biggest two things to ever happen to network television and that CBS must love them - and will never let them get booted??? Outstanding delusions of grandieur.

Did I mention this was basically about sex sex sex? When sex is the issue, boiz get amazingly dumb... When the head games get going, the rivalries will be nasty. I think the girls are going to wipe the floors of the Big Brother house with the boiz. And I'm still thinking Krista is working all the angles properly.

ok, I gotta stop here... I could diss these guys all day long...

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