Mostly harmless (corto) wrote,
Mostly harmless
corto

Survivor XIX Update!!!

Survivor XIX: S’Moa



Welcome to Russell’s Wet Dream



Where in... we meet White Russell, and when I say White, I mean INSANE and when I say Russell, I mean Sadistic Fucker. (Dude’s gonna be fun! :D)



Survivor 19... in 434 words...
(aka "The show in as few words as possible")
Well, now that we know how Jeff and his friends in Casting spent the last year (cruising prison yards, girls college dorms and gay biker bars), we get our big intro to team Samoa. They were “pre camped” into Camp Galu (Purple, and happy) and Team Little Bunny Foa Foa – LBFF -(insane asylum yellow). Jeff has them pick leaders, then tests the leaders ability to read tea leaves by picking people “that you think are...” good swimmers, smartypants, good balance and strong. Strong was easy: Wacko Russell versus Turkish, to move the big ass stumps around, but Jasooooooooon – who fell off his J-Crew (or is that J-Homie-Crew) photo shoot to do a little Survive’en – "as swimmer" was a stroke of luck for LBFF's lealder - Dr. Mick. They were playing this “swim for it, carry it, crawl on it and put it together” game to get a flint. The only fun with this game was looking down Marissa’s shirt as she crawled along the balance beam, because, flint aside, the real game doesn’t start until they get to their respective camps and try to build shelters. :) (LBFF won this game)
LBFF is blessed to have psycho wacko Russell with them. He took the time to set up “secret alliances” with all the women he calls “dumb” (when he says dumb, he means young and pretty, sigh, but don’t worry, he doesn’t have any short-guy rejection-in-high-school issues... nope... none) and we all know that too many quick alliances usually equals death in this game. Never-the-less, he did get a few sound bites telling us that his “plan” is to make life unbearable for everyone else (on his team). He started by emptying all the canteens in the middle of the night and burning Jasooooon’s sox. Life in LBFF is going to be all about living on the edge of a razor blade and trying not to slip.
Camp Galu is ... way more fun. :) Personally, Shambo (the ex marine chick – old enough to be your mother) totally rocked. Unfortunately, she is the one that spent the first day lamenting the youth of the youngers and settled into her “not relating” point of view. This will cause her death in the game, but her mullet will keep her safe when she gets back to wherever.
Immunity is a bit of an obstacle course in the jungle. Mostly just get up and over these big triangles, and then put together a puzzle. It was mighty close but Galu wins and this sets the scene for LBFF going to see Jeff and his flaming pits... er... pit.

Most Memorable Moment
The very moment I realized that Wacko is going to be this Ultimate Fighter Dude and may very well kill someone this season. Wohoo.. human sacrifice.

The winner...
Ok... well, clearly it’s not going to be Marissa. :D LOL.
I thought she had the right combination of experiences to make her worth while... but she couldn’t navigate the Wacko and this was definitely her downfall.
So who else?
It’s got to be Turkish, or the Cop Lady. There’s no way it’s going to be Brokeback Mountain New York boy or Doctor Fullofhimself.

The Pitt
(aka "Tribal Council")
Silly girl.
April was worried there for a minute but Marissa knew all the way through that the Wacko was going to get her... and he did. I was totally sure that the Many Alliances Of Whacko would come out when Marissa started talking... but if it did, they edited it out. :) Marissa went home.

Two Things...
~ Seriously... Whacko looks exactly like the short guy in highschool that the girls didn’t like because he RESEMBLED A TROLL and ... it all got to be too much for him so he spends 17 – 30 in a gym becoming a walking/talking anabolic steroid with a tiny little penis.
~ I gotta laugh about how this show always starts with a bunch of people playing games in their underpants. :D LOL

See ya next week. :)
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