Mostly harmless (corto) wrote,
Mostly harmless

Survivor XVIII Update!!

Survivor XVIII: Tempo Para Sofrer


Where in... the great and terrible ordeal it is to be the filled-with-woe Coach is revealed ... to which there is great and terrible applause (apple sauce) from the assembled haters. :) (oh look, there’s me :D). They play games for comfort and life but none are as compelling as the planetary ego explosion that plays out in Coaches numb skull.

Survivor 18... in 456 words...
(aka "The show in as few words as possible")
As Jeff’s voice over dubs Coach “clueless” they arrive back at camp from tribal on night thirty three. Mark it in red... Coaches head explodes. Well... figuratively. JT tells him Deb voted for him and he has to shuffle his little dragon warrior children’s story brain. He continues to blab away about truth and honesty but the sun comes up and the story turns to his asthma and apparently shattered spine. A million little violins float in from the ocean and play while he makes a bid to not end up on exile island. Reward is a trip to a place called “The governors retreat” (bring a friend) and to get it you have to navigate this big ass maze (the letters of “survivor” and pathways through them), assemble a long pole, get the bag and knock down the things... JT eats mazes for breakfast and kicks the rewards ass. Of course, he sends Coach to exile and we get this lovely drama moment after coach goes all “I won’t eat or build a fire” (re-enforcing Stevie’s suspicion that Coach can’t actually build a fire). Erin takes a few bites at Coach’s planetary sized ego, spells it with two g’s and enjoys it with a little maple syrup. JT starts his hate for Erin ‘cuz she let Coach have it. Coach thanks his personal gods “... for creating me as an individual.” Because the rest of us are... BORG. JT and Stevie get to look in the mirror at the gov’s place... then eat a “guy show” level of meat. Immunity is an endurance thing standing in what amounts to a closet wedging between the walls, with feet on pegs... smaller pegs... then smaller again... and wait for death. Erinn goes first... I kinda thought she would have rocked it... Taj and Stevie leave and it’s Coach v. JT. Coach goes so dramatic I though flaming “littlest pony” dolls were going to run out of the jungle. He loses. He falls out of his closet (oh the IRONY) and collapses with complaints of “I felt something go” in ref. to his many troublesome disks. Seriously though, he was fine an hour later at camp. Although he did manage to tell Jeff not to call medical because “medical takes a look at this back and they’ll make me leave..” blah blah blah... flaming ponies. They go to Jeff’s pit and coach reads them a poem about how his penis can beat Godzilla... or, maybe it wasn’t about that... but maybe it was. Then they vote his ass OFF. Er... JT though Stevie was his bitch and was gonna vote Erin... but he had his own goal and JT had some new hating going through his little veins.

Most Memorable Moment
Watching Coach fall out of his closet.
Words fail me... :D

The winner...
Dude... Erin’s gonna get zapped, unless she wins immunity. Taj is totally toast and so I’m guessing if it’s JT and Stevie, JT wins. If it’s Stevie and Erinn, Stevie wins.

The Pitt
(aka "Tribal Council")
Yeah... just hurry up and get your freaky soccer sox wearing ass out of here. :D LOL.

Two Things...
~ dude... can you imagine if Taj had been at the reward... and been able to check her boot-aaay in the mirror? That would have some fun sound editing.
~ It’s the finale on SUNDAY... SUNDAY... set your PVR. :)

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