Mostly harmless (corto) wrote,
Mostly harmless

Survivor XVIII Update!!

Survivor XVIII: Tempo Para Sofrer

So Much For The Survivor Closet

Where in... we are treated to a Dr. Evil’esque laugh from Jabba the Taj, a revelation of closet-life, a little blonde wisp of a practically live-anime character saying she’s going to take over the world and this completely off-his-flippen-nut little prince running around in soccer sox like it’s normal. Oh, a few get to scrub their tenders with actual toilet paper. :)

Survivor 18... in 477 words...
(aka "The show in as few words as possible")
It’s all about the Exile Alliance as Taj brings the half-man-half-pet-rock Steve on her secret idol quest. It’s day 13 and she finds it... she gives it to him to hide in his pockets... and, of course, he sits down with the diary camera man and goes all possessive sound-bite-boy. The adventure ends with this bizarre Taj moment, beached in two inches of water, delivering this Mwaa Haaa Haaa Haaaa evil laugh. All I could see was Jaba the Hut. Can you just see Sierra choking her with a chain? Speaking of Sierra, back in Timone she’s sorting things out with Brenden, finding out he has his idol. Her head goes back and the next thing you know she’s all “We’re going to take over the world!” God I love how power makes people mental. LOL. Jeff offers them a trip to a charmin equipped bathroom (with pastries and coffee) if they can win a game of “get wicked dizzy and walk a balance beam” The only really memorable bit was freak boy Coach running back and forth with his big honking soccer sox. Jalapeño wins, but more importantly Coach loses. Oh, and Steve really does seem to come across as a bit of a doof monkey. They send Steve and Brenden to exile, letting Jabba the Taj enjoy some gluttony. The Reward winners are surprised with “letters from home”, so – of course – everybody’s cry’en and carrying on. Meanwhile back at Camp Watch-Coach-Go-Mental, we have ... who else? Coach gunning for Brenden, and predicting the weather. He gets the weather thing wrong, as in, “The storm will miss us...” and a desperate deluge in the next scene. We get some Jalapeño the-plot-thickens moments when Sydney starts blabbing about loving her bf and wanting to marry him, talking to Spencer... trying to draw him out about gf’s. His naturally curly hair and him are still hiding persistent gayness in the Survivor Closet with all kinds of blah blah about how if folks knew, they’d think less of him and kick him off. And there you have proof positive that the little idiot has not bothered to actually WATCH Survivor over the last eight years. Immunity is the “Launch from the Giant Elastic and catch in Nets” thing that have folks bonking into one another, falling, flailing and swearing. Brokeback boy actually knocks out half a tooth. He stupidly chucks it away ... but Dom Jeff goes and gets it and makes him take it. It was a wicked game with Jt being awesome ... but they screw it all up and lose to Timone. Jabba has a red-hairy-fit back at Camp Happy and the plot vibe starts to cook into overtime as Spencer begins collecting this shit. They all sit with Jeff, blab about Jabba getting her hate on for Joe... then they vote out Spence and his secret gayness.

Most Memorable Moment
Yeah... no. I can’t get Jabba The Taj out of my head... sitting in the water on the beach and laughing that big Jabba Evil laugh.

The winner...
Not Jabba! Maybe Brenden. I want to say JT but I’m pretty sure he’s as dumb as he acts.

The Pitt
(aka "Tribal Council")
It was pretty decisive... tossing Spencer. All Jeffs effort to get folks steamed at each other didn’t amount to much this week. :D

Two Things...
~ Steve is the weakest link!
~ Coach needs to be blind sided.!!!

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