Mostly harmless (corto) wrote,
Mostly harmless

Survivor XVIII Update!!

Survivor XVIII: Tempo Para Sofrer

Jeff Gets A Brazilian!

Where in... freaky coach guy kicks things off like it's the beginning of Throw Mama From The Train and then - not surprisingly - a vast and complex web of deceit erupts from the assembled yellow-bags-of-mostly-water. Seriously, it's all complicated... and therefore, about to implode. And for tonight’s drama, we get to watch age whine about youth, freak-show whine about beauty. Weee.

Survivor 18... in 336 words...
(aka "The show in as few words as possible")
Coach tries to demure on the whole "leader of the pack" thing to Brenden - who is, btw, busy absolutely bending them all over the rape bar with his secret deals. Erin tries - and fails - to sound sucky and harmless. She goes on to explain how she had this bad break up before the show and is afraid to be all bawling around everyone... so instead, she's annoyingly sucky. ? Meanwhile, back at camp Happy Party Time... er, Jalapeño, the love-in is worried about poor Taj and her repeated hardships at Exile - who is, btw, busy absolutely bending them all over the rape bar with her secret deals. WOW... this is an awesome set up for FAIL. Reward was the "weight game" with a few players shouldering-the-load that the others pile on. Jeff keeps saying "Put it on" except the "on" sounded all freaky... clearly he has been practicing this. Jalapeño wins and gets to rip-off two things from the other guys camp.... (they were totally cool with only taking half their beans, etc. versus being evil.) So Taj and Brenden have their Exile Island alliance going on and they agreed to bring Stevie and sierra in on their game. Except Brenden didn't get around to holding up his end of the deal - explaining things to Sierra. Sierra - and her little tiny tee shirt dress - gets sent to Exile and she's supposed to have been told to pick Stevie... fortunately (very!) she picks Taj to go with - and Taj ends up sealing up the four-way deal. Back at camp, Tyson has a loin cloth on again... making it even more clear to me that Jalepeno is the place to be. Over at camp happy we get to watch Crazy Lady (Sandy) stress while watching Sydney be a beautiful and young woman... around a bunch of young men. In a fit of cliche, she gets her hate on for Sydney. They play Immunity with a big ass run, untie, carry, assemble and puzzle deal that was serious neck and neck but landed a Timone win!! So the editors go mental giving us Syndey moments like it's the last we're ever going to see of her. Because we've been watching the show for eight years... we know this means she's staying. They go to Jeff and his hot pit ... and chuck the old lady.

Most Memorable Moment
Watching Sandy act all pissy about Sydney being hot stuff and knowing how to use it. Or was it all the fuzzy video of Sierra's ass?

The winner...
Too many strong male players... I don't see a woman there that can pose a challenge. Unless it comes down to endurance or balance or something... then I'm thinking Sierra and Sydney could play...

The Pitt
(aka "Tribal Council")
Jeff is totally calling people out this year. They spent the whole "pit talk time" zone talking about Sydney and her hotness. This sealed it on the editors messing with us. Sandy was soundly denied.

Two Things...
"Team Secret" ... the Brenden, Sierra, Taj and Stevie thing... is awesome, but it totally looks like it's made for FAIL. (and the previews kind of make that look like it's gonna happen. LOL)

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