Mostly harmless (corto) wrote,
Mostly harmless

Survivor XVIII Update!!

Survivor XVIII: Tempo Para Sofrer

Broke Back Brazilian!

Where in... our happy campers are still sorta in the honeymoon phase, eating bugs for fun, and judging the crap out of each other. When we’re not getting scared away by Sandy’s cadaver smile, we’re watching cosplay Sierra Sox supervise a sand mine. Oh and Stevie and JT are practically tea-bagging each other. You just know someone is not gonna be able to quit someone else, before this is over.

Survivor 18... in 322 words...
(aka "The show in as few words as possible")
We open with Sandy’s gaping maw yammering about how happy she is to still be here...and then the testosterone trio of camp Jalapeno decide it’s time to eat bugs. Termites ... like they’re a snack. We’re not fooled. Meanwhile, back at camp Timone Sierra – resplendent in her white knee sox, recruits Brenden to be her digger, and goes idol hunting. Creepy Coach stays at camp to stick his freaking tongue, uninvited, into Candy’s ear, then I threw up. Brenden seems to be part dog. This is evidenced by the freaking PIT he digs after he and Sox fail to interpret a clue. Team Dork at Jalepeno (the termite eat’en boys) find out that Taj – giant, giggly, strong-like-horse-Taj – is married to some football super-stahhh (Eddy George). Everyone is impressed, until everyone concludes "she’s rich...screw you". The Evil Dr. Jeff drags ‘em all out for Immunity SLASH Reward when a full on t-storm kicks in with relentless rain. So he sends them all out into a lake to play water b-ball. ??? Um... Lightening? Anyways, they all live, but we do get to see Cadaver Mouth executing her "hold the other girl by her bra strap" strategy, Taj throw off attackers like they were bugs, and the women – in general – just act vicious as all get out. Jalapeños wins on a come-back, getting immunity, fishing gear, and sending Brenden to Exile. Jeff is all Twisto-flex with "and bring one member of the winning tribe". He takes Taj. Steve and JT go through a bit of a bonding ritual and Steve pretty much falls in puppy love. He begins planning their wedding. Back at Timone, Sox girl to sure she’s toast but Coach is still weirding out on Candy. He begins to campaign for her to go. He’s such a poser. He does carry his jacket everywhere in case he needs to toss-it-aside-in-a-manly-fashion. They blind side Candy, she goes, she’s pissed and wee... Sierra gets a pass.

Most Memorable Moment
So they have the kids gender matched in three-on-three water b-ball games. Jeff calls it, throwing the ball into the water and the kids go at it. "Going at it" for Sandy is instantly reaching over and grabbing Erin’s bra strap / bathing suit top strap... whatever... and just hauls ass on it. She’s leaning back! LOL. For the entire volly... Erin’s holding her boobs and praying.

The winner...
Need more time to get to know who appears to be capable of winning. :)

The Pitt
(aka "Tribal Council")
Yeah, so first time at the pitt for team Timone. It seems the Survivor gods have their hearts set on getting rid of the girls with the large boobs. First Carlina from Jalapeño and now it’s all about the Candy blind side.

Two Things...
~ The digging-the-pitt thing by Sierra and her lap dog? WTF was that? I mean... come on.
~ Yo! Taj... clearly enjoys telling folks she’s married to Eddy George. Exceptionally stupid move on her part... but nobody said she was smart.

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