Thursday, September 4

So the new plan is to sit and write my "morning" post on my not-net-connected
laptop at work during my morning coffee break... instead of pounding off a post
in the evening. There was a time... in the vast expanse of the last EIGHT SOLID
YEARS OF POSTING EVERY SINGLE FREAKING DAY (except for a few vacation-ish
moments)... when I would burn the bus ride into work writing the post on my very
old (and still the best "I like to write" piece of tech I've ever owned) HP Jornada 820
- mini clam shell Win CE device with a keyboard that was about 75% the size of a
normal "small keyboard". But those days - and the bus - are long gone. The
Jornada is still there but it got to be a pain to sync it with a net-connected device.
Now if only that thing had been truly wireless...

Anyways... my thought for the day; the "contractors socialization challenge".
My universe of work is all about taking on short (3 - 6 month - sometimes less)
contracts in large organizations and working with an exec and a middle manager
to up the ROI from various lower level managers in operating their IT Services.
Now think about that... the Exec has almost no time... the middle manager is
almost always full of him-or-herself and the lower level resources are supposed
to "look up to me" like I'm some kind of expert. None of that makes for much
opportunity to find socialization rituals paying any real dividends.

I have like... maybe two real-world friends... although - apparently I tend to
piss them off regularly so who knows, my kids and my darling wife. Suz is my
best friend and I would rather spend time with the kids than anyone else in
the entire world (because they will grow up and move on... so I'm trying to
get what I can ... when I can. :D). But my point is that I don't have a "circle
of friends", other than all'ya'all - and while you're all awesome and important
to me... I can't go for coffee with you guys. :(

The challenge is how to integrate myself into the work environments... Here
I am now in a six story building full of permanent employees. I can strike up
relaxing conversations with the folks that sit beside me (in the next dull,
windowless, mind sucking cubicle) but that's ONLY EVER because I make the
effort to do it. Simple as that may sound... it's actually emotionally taxing for
me... I never know if I'm coming across as intrusive, boring, a dick or what...
but I try never-the-less... because the alternative is to watch my brain drip
out of my eyes onto my keyboard.

My work is all about "deliverables" and rarely about punching-a-clock, so
what I do with my time is my concern ... just so long as I deliver. (and I
always deliver!!!). But the real challenge is getting sorted out on how to
grab whatever moments of socialization I can from each new client group.
Before I started consulting, I had been a fed civil servant for 14 years...
with a nice circle of friends and almost too-much socialization. Now I almost
look back with longing at those days.

So... I tell the nice middle age lady that she has a lovely smile... the young
man that his children's pictures look adorable... the young woman that she
has nice shoes and middle age guy that his giant collection of miniature
rubber Family Guy figurines is groovy... All in a quite, self-conscious
effort to find random connections. I am bursting with self-confidence...
but like most people that are bursting with self-confidence, it's a
mask I've learned how to slip over the awkward me. The reality is ...
nobody is going to come to my cubicle and say 'hey'... so it's up to me or
it's time to do the brain dripping thing. :(

~ can you tell it's supposed to rain today? lol

planning
~ half day meeting with my client...
~ lunch with Suzy at a Thai restaurant near here...
~ hoping to have a coffee break with a young guy that I'm working with...
~ Big Bro tonight.
wishing
~ I knew if "gossip girl" is any good? The idea of the show seems good but I wonder if they pull it off or if it makes you increasingly stupid by watching? (I have the first season's first episode on my iPhone... unwatched...)
~ for loads of success to find yumikid in her current ... effort. :)
~ to send a smooch to a shoe... er... a schew... no, a shoo :D
~ and to smile at tonya... as she finds herself in a brand new stage...

Birthday moments...
Happy birthday voicesinherhead!! May the margaritas ... reward you. :)

///
Never before have so many, tried so hard, to photoshop so well... and fill the interwebs with fake naked pictures of a vice presidential hopeful. LOL.

//
It's funny how the same group of Catholics that will remind you of their religion's
dominant position on earth are the same ones that will say things like "Yeah I'm
Catholic but I don't follow all those rules... " etc. etc. etc.... In general, this seems
pervasive in Christian circles. People say they're Christians... long enough to get
counted in the polls that conclude there are more Christians than any other religion
on earth but in reality... they're mostly a bunch of posers that never learned to
accept the truth of their own reticence to being led by the nose-ring through a
life without free will.

/
I remember the emotional context of every one of the twenty two years that zebra
and I have been together, from sweaty first dates, wedding, having babies, having
arguments... making up... and I wanted to share that I have never loved her as much as I do...
right now. :)

~ tomorrow's friday. Wearing a shirt and tie tomorrow.
It's not hard to look good in a building full of feds...
but you can look fucking good ... in a sea of shorts and jeans... on a friday.