Mostly harmless (corto) wrote,
Mostly harmless
corto

Survivor XV Update!!

Survivor XV: Brightly Coloured... with Lead Paint.



EMO and the Beast



Where in...  little miss last-pick is still all emo, and the grave digg’en mumble machine is in a right flippy bitch. The damn moron,... er... mormon is in his own snit, and the bunch of them decide to reward their best player with a lovely knife in the back... to go with their riverboat fantasy.



Survivor 15... in 334 words...
(aka "The show in as few words as possible")
In a moment that makes me think of the screen filling with a Batman’esque POW, James goes from mumbling like mad to fracking screaming out a "Good Morning" song right beside the sleeping monkeys. Seriously, I’d have sat up and POW... So they all wake up in a bitchy mood, with Emo Edna The Lunch Lady continuing to lament the big surprise that she doesn’t come first when people are sorting themselves by athletic ability... d’uh... Todd, the GMFA gets all pussy about Miss Emaciation (Courtney the "we don’t do that in the city" twig) enjoying the attentions of kinda-asian kid Frosti.  Reward is this strange thing with bouncing a ball on a bongo drum as your team wanders through a bit of an obstacle course. Team idiot has PG as their "go-to" girl and they give her the tiny drum, while the winners (again, with Frosti – the consummate little athlete) manage to use "drum size" to their continued advantage. In the end, Frosti, Eric, Emaciation and the hot girl win a trip on a riverboat chowing down on vast amounts of protein and carbs. Meanwhile, Cap’n Angry Pants, James, is reacting to Ms Pathetic’s (PG) endless ‘tude about how everyone else is playing. He bitches out at her enough to drive her from camp in her own little scrawny emo vibe.  The riverboat deal is only cool in so far as we get to see Eric doing this totally hilarious goat impersonation... the guy is a walking cartoon foley. Sadly they continue to fuzz over Amada’s great behind ... even when she’s wearing her shorts – so they much be a nice pair of shorts. Immunity is a memory puzzle game with the "or you can opt out and sit here eating burgers and fries" twist. Frosti ends up holding the show for the gang as they all want to fry PGs skinny ass... but all want to eat burgers too. PG wins... screwing the plans of the burp crew who then decide – in a fit of stupid – to fry Frosti. And they leave Denise? WTF? 

Fav Quotes
Eric: "Maaahahahahahahaha... b-m-ah-hahahahahahahah" (my feeble attempt at typing "goat")

James, while addressing Little Ms Perfect (PG): "Shut up." "You got nerve..." and defying all his genetic coding "How dare you?!!".

Most Memorable Moment
Hard to pick  between James saying "shut up" to PG... (frigging priceless) and Eric doing the goat thing. (the goat thing was seriously groovy).

The winner...
Well... with the Frosti boy gone... you have to think about the actual nature of this stage of the game. Without a totally dominating personality (remember the girl from a few seasons back who was the "last man standing" in one tribe before the merge? – she was incredible)... the gang pretty much gets to this stage in the season and starts offing the people they think will win. Think about this... Basically, a bunch of Losers get rid of the few Winners... and we’re left with ... the losers. Wankers, and emo snot rags that band together to get power. I mean... power to ‘em but who’s next? Amanda? Boooo.

The Stir Fry
(aka "Tribal Council")
James, still too stoooopid to use ONE of the two immunity idols, risks getting his "Good Morning" screaming ass fried... and the rest of them stunningly decide that they can do without Frosti.

Two Things...
~ no doubt the next competition will be rush through a course jumping from ledge to ledge...
~ please stop fuzzing Amanda’s ass... they’re going to run out of reasons to watch the show!!!!
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