Survivor XIV: The Toilet-Seat Edition
Another One Bites The Dust
Where in... Jeff takes his final kicks at the kids... stuffing them blindfolded into a maze and then it’s time for some waterboarding, Git-Mo-Fiji-Probst style!! That guy is actually in the running for "takes over for Regis"!! It’s money night and all does not go as planned. But ... it was a lot of fun. ESPECIALLY the jury... bwaahahahaha...
Survivor 14... The Final Episode.
(aka "The show in as few words as possible")
Day 37 and Cassandra is still there... frigg’en Cassandra. It’s immunity #1 and Jeff blindfolds them and sends them on this five stage maze-o-matic (pop-a-six-and-you-go-twice!) adventure and I’m not sure what was more fun? Yao winning – wicked! Or seeing Cassandra milling around the starting gate in her blindfold when the boys are pretty much half way through the challenge. We know Earl has the idol, and Yao has the necklace, and everybody wants to face the jury with useless-like-fish-lips Cassandra... so it looks bad for Boo. He last-ditches with a bid for Dreamz but it’s just so much wind... Friggen Cassandra. See ya Boo. Next up? The big fast-forward through the "paddle down memory lane" thing – stopping to laugh once again at Michelle falling off that platform – and it’s on to the next immunity game. This one has them hanging onto a bar, over their heads, laying on a ramp with water running down the board and Jeff tipping it towards 90 a little more very five minutes. It’s final four time and Dre is s’posed to be give’en it to Yao, so when it’s down to Yao and Dream-boy on the waterboards Dre should have let go to live up to his deal... but it’s foreshadowing-time on Survivor. Dre wins the game and the necklace and at Jeff’s fun-filled-fiery adventure? Dre is all "I’mma gonna keep it." And then the "ohmygodisuck" tears start. Mr. Magoo is Mr. Magone... and even Earl voted for him, because – as he said later – Dre keeping the necklace basically hands Earl the million. It’s an all black final three, and any joke at this point would clearly be taken as racist... Friggen Cassandra! So they burn everything in camp, and head to Jury time... three facing the jury, btw, and the real fun begins. We watch as Cassandra is ignored so often it becomes laughable – except when Alex is doing his "shut up... I call the shots... and I said shut up" thing like the irritable bowel he really is. Oh and Leesi is a great big smells-like-dead-fish cliché when she gets up and shoots off her sore-loser mouth. We are reminded that Cassandra is in the final three... and doesn’t know how to swim. Friggen Cassandra. Yao is phenomenal, with a totally positive vibe for Dre playing the game, but nobody else is in a forgiving mood. Cassandra? Ignored. Dreamz? Despised. Earl? One wealthy ad-executive... and winner of Survivor Fiji.
I’m going with Alex’s little show during the jury thing. He falls into the classic "How come you lied and cheated?" trap that the LOSERS so often fall into and he goes flippen mental at question-period. Man... did it ever make him look like a dick.
I would like to draw your attention to [ :: My Recap For The First Episode Of This Season :: ]... where I point out that Earl will win. :D
~ that steady stream of water running onto Yao’s head... must have started to hurt after a while.
~ did you notice? No "loved ones" episode. Of course, it’s prol’y hard to script anything that can compete with that blonde kid from a while ago that made up the "dead grandma" story... gah!!Bwahahaha... omg that was funny.
See ya next time... In China. :D
Ps. Thanks for reading. I wish I knew who reads this stuff! :)