Mostly harmless (corto) wrote,
Mostly harmless
corto

Survivor XIV Update!!

Survivor XIV: The Toilet-Seat Edition



The Story of Ninja Boy



Where in... Alex gets even dumber... everybody face-plants big slabs of pork, boys climb poles and Jeff – the other white meat – is altogether a little bit on the smug side tonight.



Survivor 14... in 14 seconds...
(aka "The show in as few words as possible")
30 nights downwind and scary Alex is the boy on the outside of alliance land. He fancies himself something of a Ninja, for god knows what reason, but mostly he looks like a dead-man-walking. Reward is a day-trip Fiji adventure for a winner and two runners up in a game of "bobbing for pork" except there’s no barrel of water, just a slab of pork on a rope. It’s all about Boo, and he gets to play with Yao and Dreamz. They go on a helicopter, white water rafting, and run naked through the periwinkle. Immunity is a game of "climb the pole" and despite Alex’s vast effort, Boo nails this too. Miss Totally Useless and surprisingly-still-in-the-game, Cassandra, just sits down and waits for the Immunity game to be over. Lexi expects respect and doesn’t want to beg... so basically, everybody feeds him some line, lets him swim about for a bit, then they garrote him from stem to stern. He’s got himself feeling all golden, but little does he know that’s just another way of saying "everybody pee on me". They do... he’s toast. And Jeff enjoyed every moment.

Fav Quotes
"I’m not going to beg." And "I’ve earned enough of their respect..." Bwaahahaha... Alex, living in the dream land reserved for those about to die.

Mr. Happy (Jeff): "Go back to camp and start sharpening those knives!" after watching them lie and lead-to-slaughter Lexi-the-lunatic.

MMM
Alex ignores his "hook on the pole steps" and just goes for climbing the pole full on... Boo gets the idea too, and while Alex flounders, Boo rockets to the top and grabs the flag...
And in the background you can see Earl LEAP to his feet with both hands up in a mad gesture of success. Clearly, Earl is thinking he’s "the man" and in control. This – usually – ends up working against Survivor contestants... Just say’en, is all. :)

Jeff’s Fun Filled Fiery Adventure
(aka "Tribal Council")
Editing, and the general theme of the episode gave us a great big slice of "Alex’s wishful thinking"... He was even getting Cassandra’s line of BS at Tribal Council. He totally thought he was golden and that Yao was gonna be going. Oh... and the fake mini-drama moment when Yao "doesn’t reveal his hidden idol" pre-read-the-votes... HA! His ass was grass from the moment Boo grabbed the flag on the pole.

Z’Crystal Ball!!
Will Earl snatch the win from Yao’s deserving hands? Hmmmm?

Two Things...
~ So where’s the self-righteous in-your-face vegan when you really want one? That would have been flipping awesome for the Reward Game. :)
~ Dre is totally having the most fun I’ve seen a survivor contestant have in years. That boy is having the time of his life!
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