Mostly harmless (corto) wrote,
Mostly harmless
corto

Amazing Race 11 Updates!!

Amazing Race - The Retread Edition



The Easter Basket Hunt!! (gah!)



And they're off... to play with the US Overseas’s armed forces Guam! Airplanes, frustrated Cubans, Danielle crying in the bush, and that freak girl Myrna abusing humanitarian aide! Oh yeah, we got it all... and Phil – hands and all! ("poke poke poke" – charla and her garman GPS)



Good Afternoon Race Fans...
(aka "The show, in as few words as possible!")
I would wander around saying "Macau" all day long. Macau... macau... macau...
~ Fly to Guam... get to Anderson Air-Force Base and climb up some tower for yer clue. No problemo, unless your attached by the penis to Danny-The-Amazingly-Stupid. They don’t catch the flight and have to settle for a later flight and running through the Tokyo airport like Cubans-on-fire. (anti climactic as they all bunch-up on the connector to Guam)
~ Detour all over the base... packing an aid package (and flying to "drop" it from a C17!!! Or scrub off an engine on a bomber. :) The Mad Armenian and her Midget go for the C17 but everyone else goes for scrub-day.
~ Drive yer ass to the Navel Base Guam, the base with no seeds!!!
~ Road Block is all about the Garmin GPS again (remember at the start of the race in the snow... the Cubans going mental trying to operate the GPS?) Pageant girls... are on go go juice and they lock it up here. Everyone else? From "dumb" to "oh-my-god".
~ Phil on the Mat at Fort Solodad (sp?) with the hot drag queen greeter girl. :) (notice? We never saw Phil’s hands tonight... they must have got huger. :D)

The Good
Oh pretty much everything the pageants do. Although Dustin’s crack with the GPS about "it’s just like an Easter Basket hunt!" left me thinking... man, what was your Easter like?

The Bad
"Send in the Midget". Like, I’m sure there was some rule about how many road-blocks you had to perform, etc... but it’s like Myrna is always sending in the midget. Today the midget was decked out in a fifty pound vest, and a garman. She was constantly poking at it... LOL!!! And messing it up. Angry little midget. Grrrrrrrrr...

The Ugly
"how you say ‘Airport’". God... I’mma gonna hack that woman up. Myrna and her fake ass accent.

But the best ugly, was Danielle doing the ugly-cry in the woods with heavy vest, the Garman, and the military dude watching her get frustrated... She had muffed her GPS too... haha...

The Exceptionally Pathetic
Oh man... Myrna starts hauling ass to shove what? 200? 500? Pounds of stuff into the aide-box ... all the while with the stupid commentary... "oh books, books are important... we must have books." (shut-up!!!) Anyways... she’s cramming stuff in, and Sargeant Bilko is like... "Treat the supplies with respect ma'am..." The plane ride looked totally cool, doing the nose dive in the huge C17... but I wish they had tangled M&C in the rigging of the box they dropped from the plane.

The Losers
At one point I was thinking Team Midget would go, but we have no such luck. The gay Cubans are OUT... and Danny can go back to dressing in drag and singing Bette Midler songs while he cleans.

The Winners...
Oh baby... the pageants are gonna win. :D :D !! They came in first tonight and they’re gonna win the whole deal. Unless, of course, they put their stupid back on for the last Leg of the race.
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  • shiver

    You know that shiver you get through your shoulder blades and down your back when you feel cold. Maybe you’ve just left the restaurant and you’re…

  • selfie

    as I read and read and read about "Selfies"... I quietly say to myself... "um... yeah, tell me again how selfies are a new thing." lol. :)

  • Monday, February 17, 2014

    Hiya. :) Today was one of those “oh look… LJ is still there” days. Oh how I miss the old days when LJ was pretty much a playground filled with my…