Survivor XIV: The Toilet-Seat Edition
SMACK... Take that, pampered biotch!
Where in... all the little kiddies get together for fun and excitement only to find Dom Jeff has robbed ‘em blind, stripped ‘em naked, and is holding a mean looking whip. Yes sir, Ol’Jeff on his game, pushing them around sewing seeds of contempt at every turn. Oh, and the Monkey on Mookie’s back took a big bite out of his Mojo.
Survivor 14... in 14 seconds...
(aka "The show in as few words as possible")
So a quick review of just how shitty things are in Camp Testosterone (Ravu) as Mooks, Edgar, Alex and their official second class citizen Dreamz, kick at the dirt and try to pretend they "got game". Cut to camera two and life at Club Bed with Boo, Michelle, Stacy, Earl, Yao, and Cassandra washing up the china, reclining, and... pretty much laying around waiting for wood-elves to come and powder their sphincters. Then Tree Mail. "get to exile... go now... bring nadda" So the two tribes (insert a little "Frankie Goes To Hollywood" exactly here) paddle out, climb to the crows nest and find... purple buffs and direction to return to Club Bed. With much hooting, whooping and anticipation of a feast... they paddle back to find that Jeff borrowed a line or two from Risky Business; The whole camp is gone... save for a little fishing gear, a flint and a machete (insert my hysterical laughter here). They took the toilet. Hahahaha... Cassandra gets all rabbit-in-the-headlights and everybody else just bitches for a while. Then Mookie just up and blabs to Dreamz that he’s go the idol... had it for days and no matter how much he peddles around it, the message to Dreamz is "we found it, and we didn’t think you should know boy. Tick tick tick and social implosion looms. The talk is all about frying Boo first chance they get. Jeff calls ‘em out to play and it’s a "two random tribes" thing that gets them all confused but after tormenting them for a bit, Jeff lets on that it’s just for the game. The game? Paddle paddle paddle... collect stuff... paddle paddle... put together a puzzle. Winners? !! Feast and immunity. Losers? Go directly to Jeffs fun filled fiery adventure and burn someone’s ass. Well Boo is not on the losing team so he is suddenly safe. Jeff asks each of the losers (at his pit) why they should keep so-and-so and does his level best to stir ‘em up. Dreamz apparently turns on the planned voting strategy sending Michelle for a walk to the loser lounge.
Fav Quotes
Everything they said when they thought they were going back to Club Bed. Hahaha...
MMM
Mookie... clearly haunted by the monkey on his back, out of the blue, up and tells Dreamz that he has the hidden idol. Dreamz is all totally like... "wha?" and it totally dawns on him that they do not have his back. What ever the hell Mookie was smoke’en... he should be sharing with everybody else.
Jeff’s Fun Filled Fiery Adventure
(aka "Tribal Council")
"Give me a reason ..." Nice. Jeff asking each of them why they should keep – or fry - so and so. He was stone cold when he faced these guys and really seemed to be relishing their suffering. He’s a sadist... you know that right? The talk back at camp was to fry Boo and then fry Stacy second. Although Dreamz was not all about that at all... and then Mookie tells him he had the idol and "everybody in camp knew but you." Well he’s not much on their vibe anymore. It’s three votes Michelle and two votes Stacy... thanks to Dreamz’s vote.
Z’Crystal Ball!!
K... I’m going to have to stop liking Alex. He just seemed to have this Dark Lord like evil thing going on with him tonight. Mr. "Can I axe you a question" Dreamz would be a much more enjoyable "potential winner" to watch over the next few weeks. :)
Two Things...
~ Alex... suddenly becomes the guy in American Psycho...
~ They (producers) must be pretty dam pleased with themselves over the hidden idols. We’ll see if they actually get used (doubt it) ... but they’re effecting the story ... and that’s gotta be good.