Mostly harmless (corto) wrote,
Mostly harmless
corto

Survivor XIV Updates!!

Survivor XIV: The Toilet-Seat Edition



Dance Dance Revoluuuuution



Where in... the Raruvian boys get diggen and Mookie gets gold in his pocket. Meanwhile, Nut Job (aka Lisi) sleeps with her fish. It’s dance dance revolution time, fuji-style, with rhythm bursting out of the Duke Duke Duke of Earl and jerky-white-guy movements from Boo, but at least we didn’t have to watch mr. magoo jive it up... Although we do see Magoo be the most wicked fricking spearchucker, arrow shooten miniature human evah!!!



Survivor 14... in 14 seconds...
(aka "The show in as few words as possible")
Mookie digs up the hidden idol – with Edgardo and Alex in tow, while Lisi and that Cosby Kid snore it up. And there was much silent celebration. Reward is this Fuji Idol thing with the judges deciding which tribe did the native dance thing the best... and I mean, come on... Edgardo, Mookie, Dreamz, Alex and DumbFuck... versus The Duke Of Earl Dancers? No contest. Earl is so into it that he has Jeff holding back the laughter. Winning means a big ass meal with the locals... (which is wwwway better than 10 hotdogs). Raro loses bad and watches as Lisi once again goes to exile. Watch the white girl get pissed. Immunity is the "tribute to local weaponry" thing... with blow darts, spear chucking, and an arrow shot. Everybody really sucks at this stuff... Although Edgardo made much ado about being Mr. Bow. Raro had all the tell tail signs of purposely not trying to win(say goodbye white girl). The best part? Yao-man becomes Wow-Man with this big wind-up and nails the spear and bow competitions. (Much to Jeff’s surprise). Raro loses, yet again, and we get Lisi on the sound-byte trashen her tribe huge. Then she trashes them to their faces, says she wants to quit and when they are all settled, up pops her ridiculous bi-polar thing. She makes the point about how Dreamz is going to "go back to Cassandra after the merge" but it’s not helping. Then Dreamy-zee asks her outright at the fire-pit if she wants to stay and ... she gives him a shaquary. hahahaha... Her ass is grass and her exit speech... totally calls the boys idiots. I’m not think’en she’s getting a lot of dates out of this performance. J

Fav Quotes
Earl: "Boo is doing that white guy thing..." as my head fills with images of Eddy Murphy in "white face" going to the bank.

Dreamze: "I want an answer not a .... Er... shalingue, um.. a shaquary..."
Jeff: "A soliloquy?"

MMM
Yeah, when the camera pans to Jeff as he tries to not burst out laughing in honor of Earl being so into his dance thing.

Jeff’s Fun Filled Fiery Adventure
(aka "Tribal Council")
All Jeff had to do this time was toss a bone to Dreamz and let him take off. He asks everybody if they want to stay and everybody gives a quick yes... and with the END OF THE GAME moments away, Lisi still can’t make her lips say "yes". She just can’t let go of the high horse she thinks she’s riding. Man is she a whack job.

Z’Crystal Ball!!
Alex is still looking mighty good... but Earl may give him a run.

Two Things...
~ gah... I almost felt sorry for Lisi going back to exile island... and – like magic – it’s once again a dark and stormy night on Exile. Hahaha...
~ Lisi and her "I don’t take these challenges seriously" follows up that sentiment with a big "call everyone a loser" party in her head.
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