Survivor XIV: The Toilet-Seat Edition
Boo! Your Other Left!!!
Where in... Lisi gets stinky with the boys, Yao gets another go at digging, and even spends time doing a little bury’ing tto. Sneaky little devil. Oh... there’s much barfing, moaning and groaning, and Dip Smack Mookie confusing slam dancing and pole dancing... all in all, loads of fun.
Survivor 14... in 14 seconds...
(aka "The show in as few words as possible")
"Hi, I’m Lisi, I smell bad." "See guys, I told ya she’d fit right in." Yao digs a hole, finds a turtle, kisses it... rather a lot actually, and then later buries a fake idol for someone else to find – the sneaky little bastard. They play flaming Hi-Li for a chance to puke up hot-dogs and Team Testosterone wins. They play Blind Mans Bluff – with clubs, and Club Med wins. With marginal deliberation, it’s all about chucking Rocky to the curb. Sadly for them... he’s the first Juror.
Lisi is back from her quiet-time-to-think-about-how-stupid-she-i
"I never thought a big, strong, black man would be my biggest ally!"
Pay close attention as the little asian dude begins to spontaneously combust. No really... the turtle, his-main-man-Earl, the fake idol and all that smoke coming out of Yao’s ears...!
Oh sweet mother of the big guy... fortunately coffee did not, in fact, squirt out my nose. Michelle – see "Most Memorable Moment" below, was "calling" in the blind-man game for reward, but at the last moment, Boo switches her out so he can call it. It’s a tight tight race and it’s totally crunch time. So Boo pulls Michelle down because her voice is going, hops up on the "caller platform" and then blinks a few times and says "wait a sec... I’m blind". Dunno what was up... dust in the eyes, brain shut down because he was remembering how to chew gum at that very moment... not sure but man!!!
THE MOST PERFECT MOMENT OF VIDEO IN THE HISTORY OF SURVIVOR!! Team Testosterone is blasting towards the end of the immunity game, trying to catch up to Club Med who are doing just fine, thankyouverymuch. Michelle is standing on the raised platform yelling out the "left, left, down, right, back back back" stuff in the blind man game... The camera is close up on her as she’s yelling "Left Left" moving around on top of the platform and just at the exact moment she ... steps left into thin air... the camera switches out to blind guy with a full background shot of Micha TOTALLY CARTWHEELING off the side of the platform. A stop-rewind-play-stop-rewind-play moment if ever there was one.
Jeff’s Fun Filled Fiery Adventure
(aka "Tribal Council")
Jeff... or should I say Padre (he’s a Church of Universal Life Priest!!!), does his best to get ‘em going on who’s worth keeping but it’s pointless. Nobody is paying any attention till it’s time to vote and toss Rocky into the pit. His welcome-to-theloser-lounge speech? A guttural scream... hahahaha...
Well... Little Mr. Yao is looking pretty but I think he’s going to blow it somehow. Alex is pretty level and will survive to the merge... so he’s still getting my crystal ball nod. :)
~ Dude is a priest hahahaha... in a fake church... remarried his parents... holy Tax Shelter batman!!
~ I almost wet my pants when Michelle went of the side of that platform.