Mostly harmless (corto) wrote,
Mostly harmless

Survivor XIV Update!!

Survivor XIV: The Toilet-Seat Edition


Where in... Anthony subjects us to an inordinate amount of whining, Jeff shakes things up, Lisi loses her mind completely and Rocky? Giant walking penis.

Survivor 14... in 14 seconds...
(aka "The show in as few words as possible")
Jeff has the kids all re-divide, and two new teams battle for Immunity and the chance to not-have-Lisi come back from Exile to their camp. It’s pick on Anthony day as he settles into the role of slave boy at Camp Brawn (school yard pick’em puts the bods on one team the trippy people on the other).Immunity is people-stuck-to-poles and it’s a) hilarious b) a cool looking challenge. :)
Ravu – Camp Brawn – loses to the trippy people, and boy is Rocky pissed. They go to Jeff’s Pit-of-Fun and chuck their slave, keeping the blow hard. Not thinking… but then again… brawn, not brains.

The Details
Yao-man, feeling like he’s living on borrowed time, gets a sound bite saying how careful he needs to be... then presto... Jeff shows up at the reward game and tells ‘em all to drop their buffs. Actually, he starts by letting them pick leaders, then they drop the buffs and then they pick new teams. Two new groups... all the brawn on Ravu (camp loser) and all the eccentrics to Club Med. Lisi and Anthony are the last kids against the wall in the school yard and because it’s a "pick opposite team" thing, the Band of Brawn has to take Anthony. This puts Lisi on Exile but not before her last-place-nobody-wants-you vibe gets her to saying stupid ass stuff to Jeff about "I was ready to be told to go... I was looking forward to it... I’m ready to leave..." etc. etc. etc... Jeff is agog and Lisi is a moron. So Cassandra (remarkably still in the game) is bringing Earl coffee in a china cup at Club Med while Anthony is absolutely ironing the men’s shirts, and putting a bright yellow bow in his hair to welcome them back from their hunting trip. Having no concept of how to play the "somebody has to take care of the fire" angle, he ends up on the outside of the new alliance on Ravu... and so does Rocky. Immunity is this cool game with each team tied to the ends of crossed and bound poles, (think "people on the ends of spokes that can slide back and forth through the hub"). Each Wheel-of-peeps has to maneuver through a series of spikes on a path that forces them to cross-paths. Quite humorous, and clearly painful for the little people... AND Club Med wins... sending Anthony to his worst nightmare... judgment by all the cool guys on national tv. He calls himself a "black male Cinderella" (loser! – gah!) They go to TC, and Jeff hooks ‘em all up with captain angry and away they go... Rocky dragging on Anthony and Anthony making it worse by continuing to be a pussy. He goes! And by the look on the rest of the teams faces... Rocky goes next!

Fav Quotes
Jeff was having wwwwway too much fun saying "Spinning Hub" during the Immunity game.

Hard to decide between Jeff’s awestruck disbelief at Lisi or Anthony’s skinny lip face after he does his level best to make like he has testicles at the Tribal Council thing. :D

Jeff’s Fun Filled Fiery Adventure
(aka "Tribal Council")
Holy "enabler" batman!! Jeff can see Rocky sparking away at TC so he just pours gasoline over Anthony and says "have at it!". Well... figuratively speaking, of course. He asks Anthony if he was happy about being the guy left at camp to make a fire while EVERYONE else heads off to be manly. This puts him on the defensive... a place where his estrogen levels just go off the scale... and Rocky pounces like a mangy ally cat on a fat mouse. "Grow a spine..." or "Take the skirt off!" ... and Anthony just takes it. He tries... I mean... his point is well taken, that he feels like it was in his best interests to be calm and diminuative... however, we all know that this is actually just dumb luck that his pussy self gets to use that notion as his excuse. He tries to "bluster" at Rocky, when we all know he should have just give’en him a shot to the head.

Z’Crystal Ball!!
Alex still has my crystal ball thing... :)

Two Things...
~ What was with cool guy Earl, talking all "everybody has to come through ME", like maybe he’s setting himself up for a fall!
~ OH man... Does Ravu ever deserve Lisi!! :D hahahahaha...
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