Amazing Race - The Retread Edition
And they're off... on the Keystone Cops episode. If it can be done wrong... they do it. And by "they" I mean the ones that pay the ultimate price for their foolishness. Sadly by "ultimate price" I don’t actually mean that they are killed dead and squished like bugs... but I can dream... I can dream. Oh, and those Cuban guys... they’re litter bugs.
Good Afternoon Race Fans...
(aka "The show, in as few words as possible!")
Wake up in Chilli...
~ fly to Punta Arenas (??) and find a shipwreck??... and hit the books in the airport and study up on this shipwreck... (Ramber) or... just ask the flight attendant. D’oh.
~ Detour with a loony toons hard "build a sign" gig or run around in a circle for a bit with a compass.
~ more air-time in charters to Playa Larga beach (Argentina) for a clue.
~ then scoot to Road Block at the end of the world (park in southern Argentina)
~ find needle in a hay stack (letter sorting), and run for Cap’t Giant Hands.
Whoever thought up having players from pervious seasons write nasty letters to the players for them to find in the Road Block... deserves a medal.
Uchen and his boss managed to get the sign deal in the Road Block, but The Head Cases (ramber) and their only competition for most-gargantuan-egos, the Pageants, bail on the sign... and join the "later flight" gang doing the compass thing. They opt to help each other, and Ramber screws that up with (my paraphrase) "I think I just "magically" know where to go so let’s stop following the clue and just follow me..." Surprise, this goes wrong.
Ok... the old guys wander past a clue and he keeps on yelling at her to hurry up and follow him in to the wrong place (she still had her temper on when they showed up after working out their error). But that’s ok... When Ramber goes down the wrong path... then on their way back, tells Myrna "got it" ... sending freak show and her midget down the garden path... I mean... still good. No... when Ramber gets to a base where all the teams gather and starts to joke about frying Myrna like that... well you gotta wonder, what is everyone else thinking about Rambers’ treatment of them?
The Exceptionally Pathetic
Look, little stump girl is all minority and like, prol’y uber cute in lederhosen, but she’s a little twit no matter how you play it. And her pet human, Myrna... is probably self medicating to keep from killing the little walking hydrant. Myrna practically yells herself horse trying to (yes, be bossy, but never-the-less) tell the midget what to carry up the stair case. She knows she’s little, so she tells her to take something manageable, but does she listen? Dude... she’s trying to carry a highland games looking telephone pole, and a crate of signs... I can’t explain it well... but it was frigging priceless and pathetic at the same time. Oh, and this was where Myrna let off that "... make up for her shortcomings" thing ... :D
Ramber could not possibly catch a break tonight... why? Because they are not actually human... they’re robots and they ran out of smarty-pants-juice. Bottom line yo.
It was a Foot Race to the end-of-the-world (the mat with Capt’n big hands and his hired local) for the Cubans and the Blenders (Eric and Danielle). The lover boys win and Danielle literally still has tears in her eyes when they take their second place position. And btw... how many times does Eric have to refer to her tits before it becomes clear that he has no concept of her, other than a frame to carry the girls around on?
I dunno... but it can’t be the Cubans... they littered.