Survivor XIV: The Toilet-Seat Edition
Where in... the low down dirty dogs in camp loser continue to ... lose. And while the painfully predictable reign of Club Med continues as well, Jeff tosses ‘em a curve and the seeds of disruption finally take hold. All in all, it’s just another reminder that there will always be girls that hate being reminded they’re not the cute ones.
Survivor 14... in 14 seconds...
(aka "The show in as few words as possible")
The Stalone Clone likes blaming things on people so we kick it off at Camp Total Loser with Anthony crying about being picked on. Reward is a "Squeeze by Me" game that looks good for the Losers but only while the tiny people play... Anthony can’t balance for shit, Rocky gets riled up again and blows six or seven veins in his head yelling at Anthony when they get back to their hovel. Moto, on the other hand, takes home a feast... to have with their new king sized bed. A soft place for your head adds up to a soft place for hands, as Lilliana turns on the slut vibe. Lisi likes this less than not but we get distracted by Gary fricking dying. Well... not quite, but they medivac his falling-apart-self and Moto is down one. They play for reward regardless and once again it’s No Soup For Ravu. Moto opens the cages, runs the watery lily pads and undoes the final lock moments ahead of Ravu... winning Immunity but getting a twist. Move and stay immune or give that up and stay at Club Med. They opt to stay in the lap of luxury even though it means eating one of their own. They do and Lisi sorts out a little pay back for Lilliana’s horrible crime of being a hottie. They keep the brain dead, stump called Cassandra but toss the hot and strong chick. Why? Because Lisi said so!
Stalone Clone to pussy boy Anthony, at night, after tribal... and yeah, I’m paraphrasing to save space... "You suck... you suck... you suck... and no offense, but... you suck."
Lisi on Lilliana: "I’m latin... I know what’s going on in that diabolical meican mind of hers." Oh nice. If you hadn’t spent high school playing ringette you might be less of a fridged biatch. Oh well...
That look of totally anxiety on Lisi’s face when the boys go flocking to Lillianas hungry self. Oh boy ... you can feel her teen years sneaking back in for another go an breaking her spirit.
Jeff’s Fun Filled Fiery Adventure
(aka "Tribal Council")
Mr. Know’s Everything lays it on thick at the pit when Moto makes their first curtain call at Tribal. Casandra sits around slack jawed and even takes a moment to say something nice about Lilliana. The captain of the good ship Naivety, Dreamz... did his level best to get folks to play it real but he has no clue that there’s a gang of five Moto’s who seem to think they got it go’en on. Lisi has played her cards and Lilliana takes the vote... and gets a serious surprise when she’s introduced to the Loser Walk.
Still thinking Earl has something... but that Alex dude at Moto could be the one.
~ Um, yeah... Did Anthony’s bio always say he was an Expert Witness Locator? Sounds pretentious... just like "Sheep Dog Trials" sounds cruel.
~ Lisi is not a happy person. :)