Survivor XIV: The Toilet-Seat Edition
Running With Fire
Where in... Camp Total Loser scratches the surface of recovery getting their first flame and first drops of potable water. Meanwhile, back at Club Med their painting the porch.
Survivor 14... in 14 seconds...
(aka "The show in as few words as possible")
Michelle’s making fire at camp loser, while club med soaks it up. Reward is all about watching Gary slam 230 lbs of white-man onto his back like some kind of beached whale and seeing Sylvia imitate a guppy on the table beside a smashed fish tank. Ravu loses again, distributing "you suck" pretty evenly among themselves. Moto gets more fishing gear and they all meet for a mad Survivor Munch Out Immunity game. Again with the Ravu-sucks thing... but Mookie-Pookie is Mr. Ants in his pants and blames Sylvia and Anthony for all their whoa. They fry Sylvia’s out-of-place-out-of-a-pant-suit ass out of camp hell and we wait for next week... When Anthony cries.
The quote "So if we paint the floor blue, at the porch side, it will keep the ants out of the kitchen and our beds..." pretty much sums up life at Club Med. Food, fun and frolicking among the periwinkle. This provides a lovely contrast to Camp Shit Hole where the dehydrated motley crew, demoralized by failure and loss, gets their collective ya-ya on when the five-foot-twig (Michelle) manages to set fire to some fluff with her glasses. The smoke’en fluff is in this leafy, coconut bowl thing and they’re running through the forest looking for their wanna-bee fire pit. They find it... it’s all good... and they head for the big slip and slide Reward Game. Jeff’s set up a vast slip and slide and sets the kids head to head on a "run, dive, slide, get ball, fall, toss ball in basket" game. Gary rams his tail bone into his skull a few times, Rita’s ta-tas torture the "fuzzy video team" in the editing room, Boo morphs into a frigging human slippy cannonball and Sylvia just lays there in the goop, flapping her dorsal fins and wiggling her tail fins – she was absolutely priceless. Thinking it couldn’t possibly get any better than Sylvia-Flapping, Jeff announces Dre versus Yau-Man and the juxtaposition of their physical appearances was down right "too much" for ol Lisi... who sets to howl’en on the side lines. Yao tries... but like so many others on Ravu... he fails. They lose... again. Next up is Immunity but first, they peel the happy mask off Gary at Club Med and we find an old, pained, out of shape, almost dead guy. They call in the Aussi Med Team and we watch Gary say "I didn’t know my own name..." He had his bell rung, but good, in that Reward Game and he needs a night to sleep it off... (or a hospital bed... we’ll see next week). Immunity is the EGS (Eat Gross Stuff) game. With the exception of one win that happened only because Moto Girl had raw oyster guts stuck in her teeth, Team Ravu just blows at this too. Anthony was tail on a list of people who lost their one-on-one eating challenge... he put a bite out of a hairy pig snout in his mouth and watched while Gary just devoured two whole snouts. Anthony had no chance. They lose yet again and then it’s all about worrying if Sylvia has the idol. Her Exile Island clues have her sitting and digging on the ground in the middle of camp. They put Anthony and her up for several votes to go home at tribal, although Rita does some weird "vote against the group" thing... and Mookie gets all "angry asian" on Anthony about his not eating pig snout fast enough. Tool. The votes go out, and come back with Sylvia packing to go!
Lisi bursting out in laughter when Jeff announces Yau-Man versus Dreamz in the slip and slide game. Oh man... he looked sooooo little beside Dreamz!!
Jeff’s Fun Filled Fiery Adventure
(aka "Tribal Council")
Mr. Hands-you-enough-rope Probst gets Mookie talking and presto, he’s blowing steam at Anthony and setting the scene for some big ass argument back at Camp Crap. Sylvia’s goose is cooked and we kinda new that last week. Personally, I’m totally glad she’s gone. She was boring... and a total spaz.
Like’en Alex at this point...
~ Did you see Boo fly across that slip’n’slide thing? Holy crap man... just ... wow.
~ Not sure why Anthony was such a target after the Immunity game. Earl sucked too... in fact, most of them sucked at the EGS thing. And besides, Anthony had bite number one in his mouth – he was choking back barf-city – and you could tell! – and Gary was already chewing into number two. Why would Anthony try after that.