Survivor XIII: Race Wars
They Bleeped "UP"!!!!
Where in... the game starts to revolve around Jon Jon, with a little time out to watch Adam blow chunks, Sundra display a festering sore, and a little pole dancing... survivor style. :)
Survivor 13... in 13 seconds...
(aka "The show in as few words as possible")
Jon’s a slave with a chip on his shoulder, and Candi’s a ho with an Adam in her mouth. Yul’s body is giving out, Sundra’s got gross-factor-nine on the knee cut and Jeff’s handing out new buffs and bottles of booze. Merge-o-matic time with a party featuring bamboo-beating natives and a university party boat stocked with fresh food... and enough booze to keep Adam hanging over the edge. Jon’s got his game on, Ozzy’s got the immunity on and Yul’s working his hidden idol to get the all important vote number five. That plan looks good, so they put Nate-kabobs on the menu... and lordi lordi... he is some kinda ticked off. :)
Jon is not the happiest turn-coat-traitorist-bastard in Raro, as he slaves away and watches the rest of them sleep-off their valiant efforts at doing nothing. No, Candi would be the happy traitor with Adams tongue dancing in and out of her mouth at every opportunity. We snap over to Aitu long enough to see Yul complaining that his legs are giving out, Sundra’s got this bad ass festering sore on her knee and presto... It’s Jeff time with a whole new set of buffs and a new merged tribe banner to paint... oh, and a stocked party boat to go with. This is a bit of a burn for Aitu, a team of four, against Raro with five and everybody knows the Two Tribes thing goes on post merge enough to keep Franky Goes To Hollywood rolling in karma. Aitu needs a fifth vote, or they’re all toast. Of course, they all nail onto that boat first-years on a kegger and chow down... Then they find the booze, and it’s frat-boy time for the Candi licker. Adam ends up talk’en to Huey over the rail of the boat, while everyone else wonders "who brought that guy?". In a fit of mad creativity, it’s now called Camp Two-names-together (Aitu-tonga?), home to one badly crashed out Adam, and Parvity wondering why nobody has a tongue in her mouth. Immunity is all about wrapping yourself around a big ass pole and staying there the longest. Frat Boy is first off and Ozzy is last, with a valiant effort by the Candi girl. Back at Camp Lazy Adam goes lip-lock with Candi and Yul puts project "fifth vote" into action by showing Jon Jon the hidden idol. He knows he needs to play ball even though (his words) "raro will go mental! MmmmMENTAL!". The votes out and the vote comes back... and Nathan ends up on the path to camp loser... and "pissed about it" is putting it mildly. Another vote that Jon Jon wont be getting. :)
"he could just be blowing smoke BLEEEP my ass!" Um... dude... you bleeped Jon saying Up? Like could he have said some other word there and it would have been ok? How does "up" make it bad?
"Jon you dirty stinky wack traitor bastard!" No really, Nate... tell us how you really feel.
Most Memorable Moment
When Adam was enjoying hammer time... as in, getting hammered, Jon was giving him the long look with the voice over about how he just does not grok how getting drunk fits in with somebody’s game plan on winning a million. And you gotta admit... word dat.
Oh if Yul can just make the end-game, he’ll be golden.
(aka "Tribal Council")
Geez... Jeff might as well have come right out and said "So Adam? Getting any?" Candi, Adam, and Parvity... all playing a game, and it doesn’t seem to be Survivor. Nate gets a surprise vote out thanks to Jon’s swing vote back to Aitu and you can see the shock and awe on the Raroian faces.
~ so when you marry a bar fly, you ... married a bar fly. What did they expect from Jon Jon the traitor?
~ Did you see Parvity doing some little dancy-number thing? I swear there was a faint outline of a shiny silver pole in the air beside her.