Mostly harmless (corto) wrote,
Mostly harmless

Amazing Race 10 Update!!

Amazing Race 10 Update!!

Walks Like A Duck...

They're off... and they’re all racing around "Keeeeve" (bwahaha)... Well, except the Cho brothers... I don’t think anybody explained the idea of "race" to them. The writing is on the wall for these guys... or at least the helmet marks from an upside down repel is on the wall. Rob has his now cliché mental melt down, the Pageants burn up the road with their amazing intellects, er... I mean total dumb luck (enter Groucho Marx, stage left: "and when I say dumb...").

Good Afternoon Race Fans...
(aka "The show, in as few words as possible!")
Still in Finland, finishing up at the Olympic Stadium;
~ entertaining "walk down the wall" repel down this structure at the Olympic village as Brother Cho #1 scraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaapes his head down the entire fricking wall. (too funny!!)
~ Off the airport to fly to Kiev, Ukraine... with yet another airport bunch up
~ two planes, one is delayed, so the ex-druggies and the pageants continue as race leaders.
~ Roadblock to drive a soviet T54 tank through an obstacle course
~ and then find some totally random apartment in a run down part of town to get a clue from a terrifying hair mole type witch who was pretending to be some butter churning olga ... totally do not grok this clue thing.
~ spend half the show listening to the Cleaning Ladies bitch about the Cho’s asking for directions all the time. Spend the other half of the show praying for a sixteen ton anvil to fall on them.
~ Detour: make music or find music... finding means running against luck to find a sheet of music among stacks while making is all about setting up a rap for these skeevy how-old-are-you dudes in 2001 rap wear.
~ burn tracks back to some square to meet Big Hands and another dude dressed up like a nut cracker.

The Good
The dedication of the production crew to the goal of driving Rob completely over the edge... This time, he got the lemon car in Kiev that breaks down ... almost twice... I’m betting there’s no shortage of odds with the crew on him doing a leg-kicking-tantrum at some point.

Oh and that "drive a tank" deal looked like a blast... :)

The Bad
After a video moment of the Cleaning Ladies bitch’en out about the Cho’s, it was pretty hard to take when the Cho’s up and wait for them again... WAIT FOR THEM!!!???? This totally slays me and there’s no way their parents are not bitch slapping them all over the place... "Wait? You say you wait? For wha? For those weeeemon? You stupid... (SLAP!) Go to you room!"

The Ugly
Cleaning Lady: "It isn’t over till the fat lady sings... and I ain’t seen no fat lady!" ... um, clearly you are not understanding this complicated Mirror thing. What? You didn’t want to "find the music"? You wanted to rap? Oh ... colour me surprised. I’m surprised you didn’t shoot somebody during your song, you walking, talking stereotype. GAH!

The Exceptionally Pathetic
From so high on the Good Karma Express to the very depths of "you pathetic twits!!! The Cho brothers fell to the back... then off the end of the truck... not because they kept waiting for the Cleaning Ladies... but that helped... and not because they stopped every five minutes to ask for directions... but that helped. No, they fell to the back, and lost, mostly because they are idiots!!!

The Losers
Took them a second... but they got around to crying about being big losers too.

The Winners...
The ex-druggies... (yeah, right) pulled ahead of the Pageants for the win tonight, but considering the competition, it’s about time two women win The Amazing Race. Oh, and they might as well be photogenic... that don’t have 200 ounces of jello in their chicken wings flapp’en around while they bitch bitch bitch about everybody wait, we’re talking about the pageants, not the Cleaning Ladies. Sweet mercy... NOT the cleaning ladies.

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