Survivor XIII: Race Wars
The Land Of Yul
Where in... the kids at Camp Crack Pipe chow down on ... sea bird. Next up... some border collie and maybe a domestic short hair. Jeff is kinda fixated on the games that end in puzzels, much to the misfortune of Brad, aka The Flammer aka "Puzzle Boy” (bwahahaha) and too little to late for Mr. My-Culture-Is-Metal... he could have scored with Candice... if only he slathered himself in peanut butter first.
Survivor 13... in 13 seconds...
(aka "The show in as few words as possible")
Lord Yul rules... at Aitu and Pavarti's panties rule at Raro. They play reward for peanut butter and it's a full on hard-ass physical challenge that ends with a six piece puzzle (not hard). Aitu – wins and Brad (raro) will pay. Nate sat out, no use to Raro or Aitu. Ozzy keeps ‘em all burping and Immunity has Aitu hurting... they almost won but another – harder this time – puzzel stumps them. The go to tribal and chuck the roller girl.
It's all about watching Mr. Calm... (Yul) lording over the kids at the Laid Back Camp of Aitu, officially Camp Crack Pipe. They eat like pigs, sloth about, win the games and ... they get to enjoy Candi's company all day. They're being rather open and honest in front of Nathan (kidnapped at the last double tribal council) and some may worry that this will work against them... however that would require Nate to actually be smarter than a hammer. Soooo no worries there. Reward is a game for whatever you picked from a catalogue of treats. Both tribes pick Peanut Butter! The game? Run, swim, jump, smash, dive, and when you get all that done six times... put together a puzzle. The sneaky bit was that you have to assign people to either do the physical or do the puzzle. With Nate unavailable to Raro, well... Aitu once again wins. They send Adam from Raro to Exile Island to spend a night curled in a ball suffering at the hands of Mz Nasty (mother nature) and they go home with all kinds of Peanut butter. Candice... and Jessica put PB on their lips and kinda kiss. I'm just hoping the cutting room floor has them licking the PB off each others tummy. (hey, a boy can dream!!) Nate is none too pleased with Brad... who elected to be "puzzle boy” on the challenge instead of slogging it in the water. Meanwhile, back at Camp Crack Pipe, Ozzy takes a dump, and finds a sea bird (looked like a gull to me) asleep in the bushes. No notion of whether or not it was snoozing on a nest... he snags it, Yul kills it and they all eat it.... Ozzy is quite content with his role as "provider”. Immunity is another physical game that ends in a big puzzle thing. Ths one includes a zip line, which makes for a few choice video moments as we are presented with the downrange view of various asses al la lifted legs avoiding the water. We also get to watch Raro losing again... only to rise up and conquor at the last second... because Aitu has no brain and can't put a puzzle together. All brawn... no brain. They go to tribal, tease us with talk of frying Ozzy (ha!) and then toss Roller Girl (Jessica) to camp loser.
"Come on Parviti!!! What are you doing walking?”
Jeff... mr. impartial, gets pushy with Parviti in the Immunity game.
She's his type.. I wonder if he's still dating what's her name from Survivor ... 10?
Most Memorable Moment
Um... yeah, this would be Candice kissing PB off Jessica's lips. Thank you.
Yul is looking mighty good here!!
(aka "Tribal Council")
All that talk about Jon and Ozzy but we knew better. No way they'd toss the only source of food before the merge was immenant.
~ Yul sure has a peaceful, calm, way about him. He should be in politics.
~ next week looks great with Brad finally getting his ass kicked for being a dick head. J