Mostly harmless (corto) wrote,
Mostly harmless
corto

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Survivor 13 Update!!

Survivor XIII: Race Wars



Holy Cleopatra Batman



Where in... the boys go apeshit mental with the slave thing at Camp Raro after watching Jp get decapitated. The girls, of course, don’t mind one bit and perhaps they’ll want to go waterskiing next. Meanwhile, Camp Aitu is checking their pit hairs and creating uncomfortable social situations



Survivor 12... in 12 seconds...
(aka "The show in as few words as possible")
Work work work... while Parviti cracks the whip. Slave time at Camp Raro. Reward is all about carrying heavy burdens, and theirs more muscle on the boys of Raro... so go figure. Coa-boi goes all Stanely, finding the opposing teams Livingstone, but also finding Adam the anti-=social boob. Immunity is all about balance and team work, and Aitu wins by a pubic hair sending Stephanie to Camp Loser.

The Details
Sadly, the show still hasn’t brought us any real heroes. Heck, I gotta like Parvity just because she’s a big hoe ... and she’s cool with that. Nathan, as dumb as wood chips. Coa-boi? Desperately close to death by suffocation by tribemates. Adam? Just a wee bit uptight... Ok, so the show kicks in with all the boys at Camp Girls-Rule slaving away like their lives depended on it... which they do, and the girls are just a sitting back saying "yup yup... is good... oh nice abs" and acting like a little gaggle of Cleopatras. So... bottom line, the girls rule Camp Raro. Over at Camp Aitu... the girls are busy checking their arm pit hairs because... they’re vacuous dip smacks. Of course, a steady diet of Coa-boi not shutting up for weeks on end, would make anyone a bit empty headed. Reward is a "stand and deliver" game, with three two-person-teams per tribe holding two ropes and being loaded up with heavy weights on the other end of those ropes. Who can take the most weight? is the game... but the fun was watching Brad wet himself as Adam and Nathan started hugging one another ... for strength. (bwaahahaha... gaydar explodes over Brad). Raro wins... after various Aitu tribesman have their arms yanked out of their sockets... and they get "comfort" items... including spices. So loser boys Aitu, div up into two groups... one plotting planning winners and the other with Coa-boi on it. Freak boy, Ozzy-idiot and Roller Girl head off on a canoe trip to visit the other island... making like they’re hunting food, but end up with Coa-boi being obnoxiously incapable of shutting up while they visit Raro. Raro turns down a pathetic request for "sharing some spices" and Adam – ever the stick in the mud – can’t wait for them to leave. Of course, he’s forgetting that they will ultimately merge and he blew a good chance to form a secret alliance or two. Immunity is a cool-as-cucumbers game with deep water, this "assembled stepping pole" thing that two players from each tribe have to walk on to cross from one platform to another (while the rest of the team holds the pole from below. When that’s done, they all have to climb this water bound tower and all stand on the top. Really competative game and clearly taxing, and despite a very very close endgame, Aitu wins... sending Raro to council where they flip back and forth between sending Kristina or Stephany home. Fortunately they send Stephanie home.

Most Memorable Moment
Hmmm... the Alien moment with the octopus stuck to Adams ankle? Or the look on Pavriti’s face as she watches the boys slave it up.

The winner...
Geezus... I don’t actually care, as long as it’s not Adam.

Skull Time
(aka "Tribal Council")
Gee... Kristina let some water slip into a pot while she was washing fresh octopus... so you want to what? Chuck her out? Gimmi a break, what with Stephanie being such a dolt every single moment of every single day. D’oh... fortunately they send Stephanie packing.

Two Things...
~ just say’en... there’s not a whole lot suffering going on here... Remember survivor when they had almost nothing to eat? Dudes are stuffing themselves here.
~ Do you think Nathan is this dumb in real life?

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