Mostly harmless (corto) wrote,
Mostly harmless
corto

Amazing Race 10 Update!!

Amazing Race 10 Update!!



I Cyborg



And they're off... still bombing around south-asia. Cabs, Buses, Boats and Flaming homosexuals that can't row for shit... although one of them was chanelling Lassie as he swam along pulling the row boat against the current. If he would have just put that painter line in his teeth, the image would have been complete.



*ASFA : American Single Foot Association

Good Afternoon Race Fans...
(aka "The show, in as few words as possible!")
A night time departure from some shack in Hanoi, leads the intrepid – or is that incipid? – racers to the stranges bank you've ever heard of... an old opium peddler sits behind a low card table with stacks of vietnam cash and ... basically just hands ‘em out.
Got Cash?
~ cab to park and listen... to the loud speaker... not the crickets.
~ total bunch up at a bus station
~ bus it to boat launch
~ boat ride to rock wall
~ Road Block with a mech-climber up a 90 foot wall.
~ boat again to a Detour
~ Detour (over – water cab deliveries, under – collect clam nets)
~ boogy to the Pitt Pad with Captain Big Hands.
~ and watch the gay guys have a melt down as they lose by a country mile.

The Good
See Tyler and James know enough to grab their cabbie and drag him over to the loud speaker to make him listen to the clue. It was like this weird, uncomfortable joke... like a telling a black guy a racial joke, listening to this asian accented dude try to read the clue to the racers over the old loud speaker.

The Bad
Beauty Queen: "I'm very auditory" as she begins listening to the crickets by some weeds in that park where the LOUD SPEAKER was bleeting out their clue.

The Ugly
Ohhhh... that Rob guy (Rob and Kimberly) is a whack-o. I thought she was bad, but I'm guessing they deserve each other. He flips out at the drop of a hat and she just has to watch or try and fend it off.

The Exceptionally Pathetic
No question... Peter, the cyborgs keeper, is evil like you just can't believe. Perhaps he imagined that the 90 foot rock wall open air climb thing with the auto climber thing would be ‘good for her" and make her strong etc... but screw that. The sight of him sitting back on his san-pan (boat), resting with a drink, lying against a comfy life preserver, and yelling things like "go... go... you can do it" to the cyborg as she struggles to not die while climbing, one legged! up this incredible height. Other racers were noting... "did peter send her up?" bwaahahaha... She, of course, finishes the challenge... only to listen to him say he wants to quit after he has a rough time on the Detour. Pussy. oh he is so dead when he gets back to his office and random one legged people start showing up to attack him in his office.

The Losers
So the Detour included this serious row boat thing and what the hell is it about rowing a boat that got these people so worked up... gah. Who can't row a boat? The cleaning ladies were just a screaming and a yelling about how it couldn't be done (rowing against the current) – managed to not come in last, and the beauty queens... who actually LOST their clue and didn't properly read it to see that they could just hop on the Junk (big boat) to get to the island with Captain Big Hands, they didn't lose either. Nope... the dexterity challenged spaz boys of camp blue... ended up actually pulling their row boat through the water... instead of rowing it. Twits. Oh and they lost. Wee... no Non-Illimination round for you two!!! Hahahahaha... Good Riddance.

The Winners...
Geez, that Tyler and James... they're not idiots, that's for sure. But how the hell Rob and Kimberly won tonights round is beyond me. They constantly bicker and he ... constantly flips out.
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