Mostly harmless (corto) wrote,
Mostly harmless

Survivor 13 Update!!!

Survivor XIII: Race Wars


Where in... Hawkeye and the gang kick the snot out of Team Buff’N’Stuff. The newly integrated tribes settle in, with Aitu – complete with their Alan Alda knock-off – just chill’en and eaten... while Raro experiences a little of the poloarizing affect brought on by abundant testosterone and cream dribbling down Parvati’s inner thighs.

Survivor 13... in 285 words...
(aka "The show in as few words as possible")
Ozzy, the official Survivor Suck Boy catches loads of fish, but it doesn’t go to his head (bwaahahahahaha). Candice, back from Exile island, takes a moment to remind all the penis equipped audience members (did I say members?) that girls rule when she does her "play dumb" thing about why she was sent to exile island by members of her ex whitie tribe. The boys at Raro are chilling, drinking and eating... while the girls slave away... because they are completely stupid. The Reward game is all about rushing two team mates, bound together, through a rope maze and then solving a brain game at the end. Raw energy wins the day for Aitu despite the brawn and brains of the superior... er... superiority complex... Raro. JP is a passive aggressive evil bastard and ... he knows it. Fortunately, the girls note this as well... excepting Pavarti, of course. She’s busy working her own angles... er.. curves... with the boys (a little somethin on your chin there dear...). Meanwhile, back at Aitu, Jon continues to freak me out by sounding exactly like Alan Alda... ahhhhhhhh They play Immunity and it’s a game of puzzels, running, swimming, running and firestarting. All in all not a bad match up of like teams... till you get to the fire and the idiocy of the firestarters from the defunct Team Noir (my way of saying the dumb ass black chicks). As soon as Raro tries to get flames... Aitu has it locked up. This sends Raro to Tribal, and even after Stephanie stupidly says "send me home, because I’m a loooooooooooooooooooooser" the girls do manage to get it together and yank JP’s colan out through his nostral. Later Jp.

Fav Quotes
As the two teams struggle to win Immunity... we get Jeff shouting "Raro has NOTHING..." and "It’s tribal council for the LOSERS!" bwahahahaha talk about demoralizing the girls as they tried to get flames...

JP "You guyss out witted me big time!"
Bwaananana ... dies. Sucka...

Most Memorable Moment
Despite all the cool stuff that happens in this episode, including and especially the lead up to JPs ouster... the moment I will not soon forget was the look on Candice’s face as she points to her head, puts on her "d’oh face" and say’s "ahh ... my mind" as though she just hadn’t thought of the fact that going to Exile island saved her ass from Tribal council. I’s one of gods greatest gifts to woman... the ability to tap into the inherant stupidity of all men by just acting dumb. Sigh. Ps. Candice is one outstanding example of a woman... beautiful, smart, accomplished and totally full of promise. Oh, and she can do that "look dumb" thing...

The winner...
Yul still looks pretty good... but the Raro team is really quite pathetic. If he can stay in with the girls... he’s golden. But if the winner comes from Aitu I’d put the dime on Candy-girl.

Skull Time
(aka "Tribal Council")
Jeff gets right to it with asking the questions that puts people on the spot... and everybody dances around the central issue... being that they hate JP. Bwaahahaa... he is totally blind sided by the vote 5-2 that tosses him back to base camp and well cooked meals. J

Two Things...
~ interesting... a lot of the latinos are gone... hmmm...
~ did I mention that I think Ozzy is a smack monkey?
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