Survivor XIII: Race Wars
Where in... Jeff and the producers... go chicken shit, integrate and avoid becoming the venue through which one race gets to rise above the others... because, you know, Jeff's just not blonde enough to make a really top notch nazi. Oh, and Parvati asked to be tied up kneeling in dirt, with her mouth braced in the ... open position.
Survivor 12... in 12 seconds...
(aka "The show in as few words as possible")
Ok, so apparently seven days is long enough for Americans to be boxed up into groups based on Race... before tv show producers get ants in their pants and cave. We get a little time with the freakshow aka Asian Minor and then Jeff is yelling "Drop your buffs!" All eyes are on Parvati to see if she'll hop out of her clothes. Jeff hands out "team captain" cards, gets them to pick NOT FROM YOUR RACIAL TRIBE team mates seperated by gender. While this had my hopes up for some boy versus girl action... it only led to some paint splatters while two teams of boys and two teams of girls became Itu and Raro, with well racially integrated teams of boys and girls. It's basically like starting the game over again... except now they have the story of Billy The Skid to tell Candice. Bwahahahahahahahahaha Meanwhile, Jon is busy creeping out the Roller Girl... who could likely kick his ass from here to Hawaii... She clearly does not trust him and he spends all his time thinking he's taking care of his little "flicka". (Imagination: Roller Girl, in Roller Girl Combat garb, standing over a bleeding, broken, begging for mercy Jon, saying "Go ahead... Call me Flicka again... come on White Boy.") And besides... she's only here to make friends and have fun (WTF?). The Raroites snag some serious food with an Octopus kill. Of course, the beast is shoved at Parviti as she tries another pose and she emmits the proto-typical girl scream one associates with fresh Octopus. Immunity is the "walk around opposite sides of a watery track with heavy packs (sand bags) tied to your team and if you catch up to the other team... kick their ass for Immunity" game. Raro (Blue) wins, sending Team Aitu to Jeff's fire pit for some human flesh carving. They argue a lot, invent reasons to not like this person or that person and then, for not good reason, fry up some Cecilia.
"I say we just figh them!" bwahahaha... the last words of Team Aitu as Raro catches their weak and slow asses in the immunity game.
Jessica (aka Roller Girl) "I'm just here to have fun and make friends..." What? What what what what???? So you're not here to get famous and maybe win a half million dollars? Oh... right Flicka.
Most Memorable Moment
Parvati: Arm above her head on the tree, boobs out, smile just a bursting... "Oh I intend to flirt... it's what I do best." Bwahahahahahahahaha... oh look, for the next reward challenge we have a mattress with shoulder straps.
Yul is still looking pretty golden... although he did take Becky into his confidence about finding the idol... Not certain but I don't see telling anyone as a good thing...
(aka "Tribal Council")
Honestly... I kept falling alseep. Yawn...
~ Anybody know if Billy comitted suicide yet?
~ Did you see the footage of the whale breach... right before the challenge? It was pretty darn cool.