Amazing Race 10 Update!!
The Hotel Mongolia
And they're off...
On a dark rainy highway, wet wind in their hair
Warm smell of the cyborg’s coolant, rising up through the air
Up ahead in the distance, I saw a terrible sight
Model Boys tire is flat and no one will help
And Goober had to stop for the night.
(Because he was in a mud pit.)
There’s Kimberly on a horse
Taken out by a tree,
This could be heaven but Phil’s hands are here.
Then Miss America got her ass dragged by a horse,
The Cheerleaders can’t shoot an arrow...,
And I thought I heard Phil say...
Welcome to the hotel mongolia!!
Good Afternoon Race Fans...
(aka "The show, in as few words as possible!")
Again with the two groups; one on the early bus and, the losers on the short bus. We’ve got performing cyborgs, crying pagent girls, gomer-pile in the mud, and hot-girl totally taken out by a freak’en tree. Oh yeah, and one of the Miss America’s... gets dragged by a horse. Bwaahahaha
~ Night time bus to Mongolia
~ Gobi Desert
~ Crappy old Jeep
~ Then a strange little horse
~ Ride to a freak show with masks
~ Back on the horse, and Jeep
~ Detour with taking down a lincoln log house or convince an Ox (ok, it wasn’t an ox but I have no clue) to let you haul water around.
~ Road Block with a flaming arrow deal...
~ hit the mat with Phil at the Hotel Mongolia.
~ unless you’re the cheerleaders... then you just go home in tears.
Mongolia, it seems, is full of good semaritans. One randomly changes a tire for loser Model Boys. Another hops in with gomer and his sister/wife/cousin to help out – although he bails when idiot boy drives into a four foot deep mud pit. And another finds Miss Americas hat. (Can’t continue without your hat!! – apparently). Sadly, no Mongolian showed up to shoot the arrow for the Cheers.
Well, relationship disfunction is just lurking under the surface in games like this... and Ol Kimberly is just prime. This girl gets a kick out of yelling at her dude and being quite the whiney thing. The trees are on her dates side as one of them just fricking SMMMMMACKS her right off her little horse (bwahahaha) and then? An den? Her dude just sits on his horse and says "I don’t know what to do." AHHHHHH How about, get the fuck off your horse and help your chick, you mmmmmmmmmoron!!!!
Yeah, I understand that this is a race to win big money... and it’s gotta be good ‘nuf to hollar out the window of your car "Sorry guys but we gotta race... you ok?" and then maybe hear, "our jack is broken, can we have yours?" because Karma has always played a big part in Amazing Race.
Bottom Line: the pair of single mom black chicks... are some cold hearted bitches yo.
The Exceptionally Pathetic
OMG the Tom and Jerry show... the GDZ (Gayness Distortion Zone) was strong tonight as Tom did this Giddy Up dance thing for some no-clue Mongolian dudes at a road block as he tried to get directions to a miniature horse ranch. And... that’s miniature horses... not a miniature ranch.
The moment that Peter and the Cyborg tried to get cash from some locals by showing off her flexo-prothsetic-leg thing... my dislike for them became ... complete.!!! Hence my enjoyment at watching her bawl as they waffled back and forth trying to do one of the Detours (they did three... and still came in first!!! Geezus people!!). Her Ox – or whatever it is – just friggen bolted the second it realized she was a cyborg. Clearly it’s seen Terminator III.
A very sad moment indeed. The road block is just not "doable" for the cheers. Of course, going the wrong way on the highway all afternoon doesn’t help either. The girls that said (on national television) that they can hold a conversation with a doorknob, end up getting the back of Phil’s giant hand.
A very lucky arrow shot at the road block puts Peter and his Cyborg into first place. This luck will not continue. They’re gonna be done before the final five teams...
Big money? I’m thinking the Hill Billies will win, unless they have a spelling contest or something...