Survivor XIII: Race Wars
Black in Back
Where in... Dom Jeff gets to kick a boat load of wanna-be-rich-and-famous types off a boat in the middle of the ocean. Been there done that... but what's this? Team Ricco is at home on their raft... and the brothers got theirs – but can't paddle... Asia Minor has a little raft and ... whitey stole a chicken. Let's all sing the stereotype song...
Survivor 12... in 12 seconds...
(aka "The show in as few words as possible")
Jeff's in fine form as he chucks ‘em all overboard, stripping away bits of boat and gear as they go. Chickens, bananas... firewood (wtf?), and we're off. Survivor Cook Islands is all about getting all ancestoral on each others ass as four ethnic tribes begin facing off for rewards and immunity. Teams of five break down into three boy – two girl or two boy – three girl groups of Latino's, Black's, Asian's and some melba-toasts. Industry is the word of day, as they struggle to build shelter, fire and food... except the Team Whitey. They make a cuddle puddle and start hooking up. They all play "run around like mad and put together puzzles, weild a torch and be first to the thing" to get ... fire, and three immunities, leaving Team Noir at the very back of the pack. Losers get to do the Exile Island thing (complete with "hidden immunity") to someone, so the black guys put their bitches in their place and take command, punishing whitey (Jon) for stealing an asian chicken. Jeff gets Black America in the hot seat and gets to watch dem bitches dish up a little payback as they toast Sekou (so much for all the Seduko jokes).
"Black people don't like to be told what to do..." comments Nathan (B), and in one fell swoop, explains the plight of the american prison system.
"We don't just run track!" say's Becca (B) as she pretends her team can actually paddle a boat. She goes on to get busted at the challenge...
"Bad wind come out!" (say that like a fired up faith healer...... m'kay?) Coa Boi, apparently chanelling a cross between Ghengis Khan and Steve Martin, manages to cure high-fashion Brad (A) of a nasty headach by giving him a hicky on that nose-bridge-spot right between your eyes. [Note: at this exact moment, I just found out we won box seat tickets to the Who concert in Ottawa... starting in three hours. J ]
Most Memorable Moment
Would have to be Jessica's unlucky slash idiotic moment when she accidently free'd the chickens... who now taunt our melba campers from the surounding forest.
Smart money is on Jon (M) or Cecilia (L).
But I'm hoping Pavarti goes far... for, um... no good reason... dum di dum...
(aka "Tribal Council")
So three girls and two boys on Team Noir as they head up to Jeff's private fire. In wonderful cliché style, the two big black guys try to dominate totally at camp and when Jeff asked ‘em to pick a candidate for Exile Island... the two black dudes step AWAY from the girls to make their decision. Bwaahahahaha... Well the girls made then next big decision all by themselves. Sekou is the first one to Camp Loser.
~ woah!!! Whoa... woooohooo... this looks like fun!!
~ I've gotta admit, it was kinda funny the way the Black, Asian and Latino teams get deep into strategy, stress and labour... and the white guys make a bed and hop in it. :)
ps. tip me off if there's another community or site you think these updates should be posted to... k?