Mostly harmless (corto) wrote,
Mostly harmless
corto

Big Brother 7 Update!!

Big Brother 7



All-stars Schmalstars...



Where in... the brainiacs at the CBS Dept. of Induced Personal Suffering (DIPS) sort things out to provide instant ROI with several wannabe "all stars" being left holding their, uh, bags (so to speak) while an unimaginably "favoured" group gets chucked back into the latest Big Brother peep show. Oh, and the rose on Lisa's big white shirt looked like a growing blood stain (she didn't get picked). Oh oh oh,... and thankfully, Brokeback Brainless (cowboy) didn't get picked either. We instead, get to watch angst ridden named for a demon Nakomis tool around in the house with the "hot girls".



Loser say what?
(aka “The show in exactly 10 seconds...”)
Julie, the Anorexic, Animatronic Hostess: "Yo, Janelle, Erika, Dianne, Danielle, Nakomis, Allison, Marcellas, Jase, Howie, Wil, Mike-dick-head-with-the-crazy-person-smile-boogie, James, I-kill-you-dead-Kaysar, and Chicken Fricken George... get in ma belly!"
"Cool" say's George... "Oh weeee" say's Marcellulous and the testosterone flows mightily. Sucker Jase gets HoH but has to share it with TypoDong2-Nipples (Janelle). Danielle stirs up shit and ends up eating it, thankfully with Allison gobbling along side her. It never pays to lead with yo' bitch. And we're done.

Fav Quote
Allison: "I'm not telling you what to do... but here's what I think you should do." (and so it starts...)

Most Memorable Moment
Toss up: When Jase and Janelle, the "JJ" of HoH land, (Dyno-mite!) are chatting in the HoH room... I was worried Janelle's nipples were going to tear through the fabric of her shirt and start stabbing Jase.
And... Kinda-Pathetic-Hair-Dye-George takes a nasty shot in the HoH game that very clearly hurt like a mother-phuquen-son-of-a-bitch-yowwwch!. He gets knocked off his stump and scrapes his back along the edge of said stump on the way down. Leave it to this guy's luck to find the statistically improbable danger in a goofy game.

Tactical
So the big twist-o-flex (so far) is this "dueling HoH" thing with Two HoH's and they have to agree on their nominations or they automagically get nominated. Well d'uh! We'll see... but I'm not thinking that will happen. Not even once. It does seem to be a nice way to make sure nobody flies under the radar because when "opposite" HoH's are in-da-house, they'll agree on frying marginalized house-mats.

Darwin's Dessert
Danielle and her "Lets convince the Jase to simply not agree with Janelle, end up on the block and we'll all vote off Janelle and break the monopoly of BB6 players in the house..." plot. WTF were you thinking biatch? Day one, and everybody hates you. Phew... there's that big brain of yours at work. Of course, Destined-For-Multiple-Donkey-Punches-Allison buys in and manages to convince Jase that she is total poison despite her ridiculously plunging neck lines.

The winner…
Janelle. No question about it.

Two things...
~ Allison... you're ugly and your mother dresses you funny!
~ Nice move when Jase was targeted by the big-fake-rock-on-a-rope in the HoH game, and he shoves it directly at Marcellulite, keeping his balance and knocking off Big-Gay-And-Shiny. However, I still hate you Jase, so die die die die....

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