Well I gotta fix that!
Step one: listen to great music (appropriately titled great music)
Step two: Embrace something you obsess over... Wait, gee what could that be... ummm
The capacity for the BB show to become the most boring thing every to take up air waves since Mike TV pissed off Mr. Wonka and got particlized (another new word from corto!) across that groovy white room is in full swing. What is particularly amazing to me is the transcribers of the live feeds dedication...
"All four cams in LR"
"the HGs are just staring at things...nobody is talking..."
"Jamie is putting on lip gloss"
Did anybody else see the banishment episode this week... DID U C BRITTANY's SUITCASE... or should I call it the Mother Ship. Whole crap! ;-) I kinda figured that bag was Miss Washmetonnes makeup tote.
The kids are blowing off the weekly challenge this week (puzzle) - I'm thinking BB will do a little punish'en over that (besides nailing them on the grocery money gamble).
They all miss Brittany... oops, not all. "Elmer Fudd in a Darth Vader helmet" (George) keeps making noises that keep in sync with the general 'tude of missing the Brat but we know better, don't we. The guy is such a low life I would just love to see his character in the UK BB version... you know, the place where Nasty Nick (a UK House Guest that got tossed) was put on every front page in the empire under the banner "The most reviled person in the United Kingdom". (and yes, this means I do try to follow the UK deal as well but I only have so many cycles to dedicate to mindless drivel)
Elmer has one very priceless quality. He has some sort of biological imperative that is only addressed by getting shit on himself. First there was the constant cake of chicken pellets imbedded in his sneaker treads, then he falls (dives / rolls) in Pugita Pies during some informal football toss'en with Ed. Then he steps in it again yesterday (tracking it around the porch)* and then this morning Mr. unLucky (Josh) notices a Pug Pie with a sneaker tread stamp on it... sure 'nuf. Elmer's scraping his shoes again.
Last night, BB put on an evil overlord hat and freaked the HGs out but good. There was some requirement for the HGs to each go into the Redrum and list 5 reasons why they think they should win. Sounds easy 'nuf, huh. Well the BB voice of the moment was a woman otherwise referred to as S and she was in serious bitch mode last night... "Each HG will move to a private location... Josh, please go to the girls br, George go to the boys br..." etc. "You will think for 10 minutes about 5 reasons why you should win. You must not discuss your thoughts with each other - YOU MAY NOT TALK TO EACH OTHER UNTIL THIS IS OVER" "Following the 10 minutes, you will determine an order in which you will go into the Redrum and discuss your 5 reasons" (editor note: and then BB ultimately went on to turn each person away from the Redrum door and told someone to go... totally ignoring the order the HGs worked out). BB went on to take away all Q-Tips, Hair Dye and glue because it looked like Elmer Fudd was going to take some notes with said articles while thinking 'bout his reasons. By-the-by, simply too many jokes start occurring to me when I imagine Elmers' reasons so I'll just not go there.
Now the most freaky thing about last nights challenge was that after BB cajoled, herded, and prodded the HGs to their separate corners, Cass was left in the LR (Her designated isolation spot). The camera zoomed up on her face and she looked totally like she was about to bawl... I'm certain a tear escaped. I couldn't figure it... was she pissed again at something BB was asking? The idea, of course, is that they (the HGs) will figure BB is going to reveal the HGs 5 reasons in a manner that will ensure the greatest degree of discontent between the HGs... She looked like she was going to simply fade away. It was aerie.
Anyways that's it for now... CBS will milk viewers with loads of canned Brittany footage for the rest of the show - seeing as the rest of the HGs are a boring as fire hydrants and, while the HGs are all still suffering from some sort of shock, the evil cells in my head are hoping the HF's get fast and furious this weekend. The HGs are ripe for total meltdown - and from a national television point of view, hey, that's entertainment. (and while you conclude I am somehow demented... remember Ed's words "This is a game that we all worked hard to get the chance to play." - yes I'm paraphrasing.)
Oh yea... one last thing. Brittany is out... she's home... she's alone again finally.... Can you just imagine the stack of discarded packaging for lil' D cell batteries piled up in the corner of her bedroom.... buzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz bu zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz B U Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z !!!
* every time I type the word 'porch' (which I very well may be miss-spelling) I am stuck by the memory of Bruce Dern in the movie Middle Age Crazy (which was also released under another name - which I now forget) screaming at his wife (Ann Margaret) PORSCHA... PORSCHA! Its a porscha, not a porsch." Then this leads me to another scene in that movie where Ann Margaret is trying to ensure her now middle age husband does not stray so she starts having constant sex with him screaming (to the great humour of the viewing audience) Bingo Bingo Bingo every time she reaches a climax... so he (Bruce Dern) is in a public can talking to his idiot friend that is in a stall while Bruce talks, from the sink, about how is wife is "fucking the shit out of me". Needless to say, somebody is in another stall. Guess you had to be there... believe me it's very funny. Good thing I don't have to type 'deck'.