Mostly harmless (corto) wrote,
Mostly harmless

The Amazing Race 9 Finale!!

Amazing Race 9 Update!!

The Finale!

And they're off... slamming through two complete legs in one night and ending the season with a bang! Finally, a reality show ends with the people I like in the winners circle! Tonight's show drags us across the planet to Japan, and back to the States for the end-game... with two teams chomping at one anothers ass the whole way and one team... screwing around like morons.

Good Afternoon Race Fans...
(aka "The show mechanics...")
From Thailand to Denver...
~ Taxi to an elephant hang out and get a T-Mobile commercial with Elephant Trunk Snot on it...
~ Fly to Tokyo and watch Tyler the Japanese speaking hippie wet his pants with glee. And listen to a gong sound, thanks to the sound editors, every time they show a japanese person bowing their head!!
~ Find a clue in the Tokyo version of Time Square and get a clue from a girly boy hiding behind Bucko The Wonder Dog
~ Detour: Carry vacant looking hot Japanese chick around in a litter, or zip around on mini bikes delivering packages... which turned out to be the way to go if you KNOW THE LANGUAGE.
~ Clue it to High Density Population Hotel and sleep in what looks like a people sized microwave.
~ Drive to Fugika High Land (apparently it sounds correct if said ... really fast!) amusement park, or Lose your toll road ticket and get you ass patted by some middle age Japanese guy... Boy was Ray ever impressed. (dolt!)
~ Roadblock by riding one Mess With Your Equilibrium Ride and Two kick ass roller coasters
~ Zoom to Lake Yaminaka and paddle a duck boat to a swan boat (ahahaha... no really)
~ enjoy a non elimination round that keeps Ray and YoYo girl in the game long enough for us to enjoy watching them lose terribly.
~ THEN fly to Alaska with more airport hi-jinx
~ Watch YoYo impersonate Janet Jackson for some late night Jap-coffee-shop boys who appeared to be remaking "Diner".
~ Freeze yer ass off...
~ Drive to Mirror Lake
~ The DETOUR that wasn't... Drill out an Ice Fishing Camp or ... nothing... because the weather wasn't letting them do the "Fly med supplies to some remote camp" part of the detour.
~ Drive to Kincaid Park and snow shoe around a trail looking for the clue... unless you're busy Channeling the Old Couple and CANNOT SEEM TO SEE THE SNOWSHOES...
~ Bunch up again at the Airport and fly to Denver...
~ find a clue in yee-olden-times-village
~ Boogie to a Road Block and do this wicked hard Find the Flags deal and sort them into the order in which they visited the countries in the game...
~ run run run to Phil, all the losers, and a million dollars!!!

The Good
~ Everything about the Hippies was great tonight. They had a blast in Japan... they gave a bunch of money to Ray and YoYo (non elimination robbery victims)... they kicked ass in the Duck Boat race against Eric and Jeremy and they were total brainiacs with the Flag Challenge...
~ AND I WANT TO GO TO THAT PARK IN JAPAN with the roller coasters... wowza!! :D

The Bad
Those bastard Bell Hops at the "hotel" in where-ever that lied outright to Eric and Jeremy about "no internet" ... Of course, Karma thrives in the Amazing Race game... so Bj and Tyler almost lost it all when they booked themselves on a stupid flight out of Japan to Alaska.
Oh, and did you notice that we never ever see Ray and YoYo doing anything smart? Like phoning ahead for a reservation, or checking directions before zooming out of a parking lot into a foreign country... They totally did NOT deserve to win... (and they didn't hahahaha!!)

The Ugly
~ seriously... Ray and YoYo are soooooooooo not into one another, despite their bull shit little "oh we're so happy to have competed" speech at the finish line...

The Exceptionally Pathetic
~ Eric and Jeremy trying to get the guilt trip going on the Hippies at the Mat with Phil over Tyler's attempt to psych out Jeremy on the roller coaster. Punk. Considering the cancelled cab ever-so-long-ago, they had NOTHING.!!

The Losers
Hahahahahaha... Jeremy looked mightily dejected at the finish line!! :D

The Winners...
Oh we were both cheering away like mad, after a knuckle biting flip out watching the two teams go at the flag challenge. Find the 9 flags of the countries they visited, in a field of 285 flags and sort them into the order in which they traveled. WOW. And Eric had a big head start but a very small brain... BJ and Tyler were totally made to win this... smart boys, and like they said in their "wow we won" speech, they stopped to smell the roses on the trip and they always tried to give something back (remember when they stopped to give some guy a lift?) They totally deserved to win! Yeah!

Last Word
~ I'm totally not sure in anyone was reading these this season (if you're out there... you sure were quiet) but if you did read... well Thanks for reading! :D :D :D It was fun trying to keep up with the show. :)

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