Survivor XII: Exile Island!!
What Up Jimmy!
Where in... Jimmy flipp’en Neutron shows up for a luxury cruise with Mammoth Utter girl. Lord luv'a duck, if Jet Johnson isn't acting the high and mighty Daddy Knows Best. Fortunately he's doing that in the company of a cartoon character, a couch potato that can smell money and a horse with nice breasts... So who on earth cares?
Survivor 12... in 12 seconds...
(aka "The show in as few words as possible")
Cerie drops her torch there-by exciting the inner-freak-show that we call Terry. Seems she's making a mess of their deserted beach. They play clip-run-unclip-puzzle games for a night on a well stocked luxury cruiser that takes 'em through the Panama Canal then they rush around digging up puzzle pieces in a weirdness sandbox thing for immunity... Aras wins the games back to back taking Cerie for a bag-feed-adventure and sending Jet and Boobs to exile island to scheme and plot. They go to tribal and tie it up with Cerie and Dani on the block... Jeff set them the task of building fast fires, then cuts the show right there... making us come back on Sunday night for the big ... cook off.
Home from the Shane-Kabob, and Terry decides to grab his penis and wave it about... well, after a fashion... that is to say, he rather fancies himself Lord God Keeper Of The Sacred Beach Pathways and gives the gears to Cerie about dropping her torch on the ground as though she owned the place. After comparing her to one of his errant children (poor things, where ever they are) Aras steps in because he can't stand to let a moment of aggression with Terry slip past, un-attended. They all knuckle under and pass night 33 to wake for a Reward game that has good eats, and a 100 foot luxury cabin cruiser that they mistakenly call a yacht. (twits) The game is all about clipping and unclipping from a line, and gathering data to solve a number problem with combination locks. Terry's inner and rather snooty six year old emerges when losing becomes a real possibility, and Mr. Wins Everything has to eat a little crow on exile island with boobie girl while Jimmy Neutron and Cerie go for a ride on the muchie express. When the challenge ends, Jeff just steps back to let Aras and Terry verbally go at it for a while... seeing as they almost came to blows in the challenge, it seemed like the thing to do. Of course, Terry and Danni plot and plan, with the hidden idol figuring large once again in the plans, but not at all in the execution. Cerie and Mr. Neutron do their own plotting and planning, and chase it all down with finger foods. Immunity is a fun bit of frustration with cryptic grid references and much digging and lugging. The goal is to assemble a puzzle and while Mr. Fiver is remarkably close, Aras-of-the-Big-Hair manages to steal away the immunity necklace with this game. We get a moment of pathetic suck-up from Aras talking about burying the hatchet or some rot like that after Jet pulls him aside to be pissed about Aras making a disparaging comment. And the sound of a hundred tiny violins could be heard on the wind... They all go to Jeff's Good Time Camp Fire of Fun and watch Courtney roll her bitch encrusted eyes and see Cerie and Aras vote for Dani while Dani and Terry voted for Cerie. It comes to a tie breaking "build a fire" game and ... an invitation to see how it turns out by tuning in next week to the season finale.
"Is that where that goes?" ... bwaahahahahahaa... Terry's been so distantly away from whatever booze he uses to numb his sense of inferiority around his wife that he's morphed into a bit of a bearded mother hen. Fortunately, Cerie, who so ungraciously tossed her torch on the specific bit of beach his Lord Terryship considers his personal walking spot, is having none of it and tells Jet where to get off.
"Somebody call a whaaaambulance, Terry's crying on the course!!".
Ah yes... Aras. Ever the witty example of the mature come-back.
Most Memorable Moment
I loved watching them fight at the beginning... :) Terry is such a tool and the others are such flipping babies. It's all just priceless.
(aka "Tribal Council")
Do you remember a "build a fire" tie breaker from a previous season? They had to crouch in front of small fire pots and have at er... This time? They appear to be sitting pretty at little tables with a science fire kit on the desks. Fortunately - we are lead to think - Cerie can start at fire... or at least appeared to do so at camp. But that fire shit with her could have taken hours. I say no chance, even though Cerie clearly deserves to stay more than the Boobs.
That punk Aras is gonna win the big money... unless the final "endurance" challenge is one of those "girls can do it better" things... in which case, Terry, Aras and Cerie are OUT. hahahaha...
~ no really... way to let 'em fight Jeff.
~ of course, they had to include the dulcet tones of Aras farting... sheesh.
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