Survivor XII: Exile Island!!
No Soup for Danni!
Where in... Terry gets laid, Cerie gets a slave, and Shane bawls his fool head off. Frau Plotsalot is still at it ... controlling the game, and Jet The Magnificent is still at it, and winning the game. Danni girl can't get her hands on the big slippery thing (so she bites it), and Shane can't find the hole... sad but true.
Survivor 12... in 12 seconds...
(aka "The show in as few words as possible")
Oh look... everybody's loved ones. Race with a bag, a snake and a fish the fastest and you get to hand out time with loved ones... and send Danielle to exile island with no love. Lord Arkimon (Terry) wins, and does (screw Danni). He gets to bonk his wife in a cottage while Shane (thanks to Terry) gets to freak his kid out. Cerie gets to play with her man back at camp... so she makes him a slave. Lucky duck. They all play Stand On A Pole and Pour, but of course, Terry does it best... (getting old!). Cerie still manages the vote and with a clear conscience, successfully arranges to make a Shane-Kabob at Jeff's fire pit.
Five little schemers, most with "sucker" tattooed on their ass, get to look at five family members. Then they race to see who gets have sex, who gets to slave around camp, who gets to cop a feel and who gets bub-cus. It's a hard race, digging up a bag, untying a snake, and slinging a big dead fish around. Of course, Terry does it all best, and ends up in charge of who gets what. Aras gave him a run for the money, and Danni seemed in the game but couldn't untie her fish (she even tries to use her teeth... eww!) snake. Terry dishes out the love and ends up in the sack with his wife in some cute little cottage, stocked to the tits with food and drink. He gave Shane the same prize to share with his kid... but they likely didn't fuck... and runner up went Cerie so she could make her hubby, "HB", be a slave around camp for a day... Aras got to hug his mom while Danni got shit on a stick... and enjoyed it on Exile island. Clearly no Danni blow jobs for Terry any time soon. Immunity is all about balancing on this high post, lowering a bucket to the water below and pouring it into a tube to float your "I win" flag up to where you can grab it... unless your Shane, then it's all about balancing and pouring water on your feet and looking like an idiot. Surprise, Terry wins and the plott'en kicks in. In a direct replay from last week, Terry and Shane both get duped by Cerie, Danielle and Aras voting as a block... and thank the gods... Shane gets to take his stupid crotch fur and fuzzy video self to Camp Loser to play with his kid.
"I'll be good to you..." say's Trish - Terry's wife - and she clicks off the light.
As Jeff provides colour commentary of the Immunity Challenge progress: "Shane... still with nothing!" - totally clueless Shane stands there pouring water into the wrong hole...
Everybody: "Shut Up" when Terry "whoops" after winning his fifth consecutive Immunity.
Most Memorable Moment
Fortunately, I've been able to purge my memory of the close up on Shane’s nipple so they could show us his kids name (Boston) tattooed on his chest... so that leaves it as a toss up between not being able to forget that fake tittee crinkly plastic look on Danni as she tucked into the Reward Challenge... and Shane pouring water into the wrong hole in the Immunity game!
Still looking like Terry's gonna be a lock for the final two and if he's there with Cerie... she's gonna win. hahahahahahaha
(aka "Tribal Council")
Jeff asks Danni point blank... "Danielle, can you be trusted?" gah! She blabs for a bit and doesn't answer. I though maybe that was the distracting moment that meant she gets the boot with Cerie deciding she was too big a threat. But no... there's Shane saying "I'm so great, I'll be here till the end!" ... and, of course, this is the editing room kiss of death moment.
He was totally blindsided. A wonderful thing.
~ if Cerie wins... she and HB can get a bigger couch and a bigger TV...
~ Courtney needs to not be such a bitch on the Jury...
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