Mostly harmless (corto) wrote,
Mostly harmless

Amazing Race 9 Update

Amazing Race 9 Update!!

Beavis and Butt Head!

And they're off... with a lovely barbed stick up Monica’s little ass, and a karma canon pointed directly at Eric and Jeremy... two boys destined to be hung by their toes in a Turkish jail. We're down to the final four teams... black, frats, hippies, and da bitch'n'her'dick.. er, Mojo.

Good Afternoon Race Fans...
(aka “The show mechanics...")
Perth, Australia... and the seemingly default late night start to somewhere that opens in the morning.
~ Cab it to the Swan Bells Towers - opens at 8:00 am, (bunch up at the tower)
"The teams are getting mean..." no, Monica... it's mostly YOU getting mean. But that's just you're own private Idaho.
~ Fly to Darwin (therefore, bunch-up at the airport)
~ Get a clue from a bunch of Crocks...
Which was really goofy... with the scary music and close ups of angry - 2 foot - crocks.
~ Watch Eric and Jeremy morph into Beavis and Butt Head
They're effort to cancel Ray's cab and the Hippy's cab actually backfires... (yessss!)
~ Bachlor Air Field and a Yield
And a foot race between MoJo and the Hippies from hastily stopped cars gets Bj & Ty to the Yield sign first... Fun watching Monica cry, but more fun watching Joseph mock her...
~ Road Block with a tandem dive at 10,000 feet.
Looks like a serious gas... and I think Monica came. :)
~ check out the groovy "magnetic termite mounds" in Lichfield national park.
~ and Detour... Wet v. Dry: swim forever down some creek, or drive, walk, didgeridoo, and drive again.
This was pretty cool... because I sure thought the wet bit would be fastest, what with the "dry" one requiring off road driving, searching for an aborigine and playing a didgeridoo... but no. The commanding lead the hippies had over E&J, let alone their lead over MoJo via the Yield... vanished as they jerked around in the water.
~ the Pit Stop at Lake Bennet was handily the best pit-stop-arrival in all the time I've been watching this show - except when Phil had them all dive in that pool and "emerge soaking wet" to the pit stop, but there were a lot of women in that one... Ray and The Complainer got the pit way first... and each got a one year lease of a Merc SUV... but the other three teams all arrived at the same flippen time. MoJo had a lead because they had stopped on the way to the Termite Mounds to get a map and had some idea where Lake Bennet was. The others were a'following. But they all hauled ass in a foot race to Phil and some trippy guy with a couple of whips - Phil was all about his goofy eyebrow-lift thing over that. The Hippies... came in last BECAUSE idiot boy ran across the rocks without his shoes on. So stupid. Not athletic... too much facial hair, funny as hell, but stupid.

The Good
The hippies winning the foot race to the yield ahead of Mojo... Watching her get all cry'en and dorky about it was worth the price of admission. :)

The Bad
Joseph... actually begins to mock Monica at the Yield as she wallows in despair over losing to the hippies. She is such a little cunt... so full of anger and totally ready to call someone out... knowing full well that the world does not kick the snot out of pretty blond girls with a nice ass... even when she's a bitch.

The Ugly
Eric and Jeremy call up the cab company at the first clue-stop, book their own cab and cancel Ray and Tylers' cabs. Fuckers.
Ray gets a lucky break with a cab, Mojo kicks the hippies out of theirs and ... Eric and Jeremy’s cab never shows up. Suckers.

The Exceptionally Pathetic
Joseph, asking the ticket agent to hurry up at the Quantas ticket counter goes on to ask that he not tell anyone about his seat (not sure what he expected the agent to do) ... and this old guy comes back with "What's it worth?". Jo-Dip says "a million dollars" and upon realizing that the agent meant, "What’s it worth to me!" he offers up his ho to kiss him "She'll kiss you..." So basically he's pimping his wife. It's a big step from the kiss to her blowing his friends but... in for a dollar...

The Losers
Nobody... the idiot hippies come in last... the dark haired one... Bj? He's the stupid one. Ol'red is on the ball. Last or not, Phil hands them another non-elimination round... much to MoJo's chagrin. :)

The Winners…
Ray and Yolanda are the slow and steady's this season...

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