Survivor XII: Exile Island!!
The Mind Boggles!!
Where in... the gang all goes on and on about how grand it would be to take the annoying earth-mother to the final two... Flip Chart boy (Shane) sinks a little deeper, Aras manhandles Cerie, Jet Johnson shoots his-bad-self to a Yukon! And Blob girl magically morphs into Frau Plotsalot. Oh yeah, things are a'happen'en with the exiles.
Survivor 12... in 12 seconds...
(aka "The show in as few words as possible")
His Highness, Lord Terrance continues to hunt for a path to the inside, and Shane is embracing madness with a new "bark" blackberry. A beach side bar-b-q awaits the threesome that can get through the "you're clipped to it" rope maze, through water and over lily pads... hence the winners are selected the minute they put Cerie on a team with Aras and Shane. Terry, Court and Boobs get the added fun of sling-shoot'en for a tricked out Yukon, which – of course – goes to Jet Johnson. He plots with the C and D girls, but Dani's got no intention of making it easy. Cerie hooks a fish, pigs fly and flames shoot out of my... er, no really – she catches a big ol'fish. Immunity is called "hold your own weight"... and it's like... they just don't like Cerie. It's a nail biter of a "hold this while we make you hurt" game that – ta da – Terry wins. Lightning strikes again and Cerie morphs into Frau Plotsalot with a plan to fry everybody's favorite "second place finisher" using Dani and Aras to side swipe both the Flip Chart and Yukon Jack. Courtney goes to camp loser.
Shane goes to his "thinking spot" ... to play "crazy white boy" games with a bit of wood that he's making out to be his blackberry. How proud his little boy must be. Dani girl is having none of it and looks drained of her capacity to put up with his wack-dom. Terry gets another pathetic sound bite blabbing about needing to win everything...yadda yadda heard-it-all-before yadda. Off to Reward and they randomly select two teams of three to attack a "you're clipped to it" rope maze through water, over little floating foot pads, diving down, and coming back... So when they clipped Cerie to Aras and Shane, they were handing the prize package to Terry, Courtney and Daniel. Instantly. They play it out anyways and after spraying coffee out my nose as Aras shoves Cerie over an obstacle we watch as Cerie comes up under a water-obstacle on the wrong side of a rope and they are officially fucked. Terry and the girls work it steady and win, but not before every production crew member silently prays to the gods for Aras to hurry up so they can get footage of Cerie doing the lily pads. Doesn't happen... And Aras gets Exiled. Terry, C and D girl get to go have a beach steak bar-b-q – "but first" Jeff has to give a way a gas master Yukon by having the winning team of three shoot sling shots at clay plates. It was close but, as usual, it's all about Jet Johnson. Meanwhile Cerie decides to try dropping a line with snail guts on it and in a moment of planetary alignment, she snags a big ass fish... drags it through the sand back to camp with one of those squeaky un-suppressible giggles going on. Her husband is doing a touchdown dance somewhere... Terry and the girls talk end game for a bit but that's just more of the "I want Courtney in the final two because everyone hates her and I'll win" innuendo. Dani see's this and is ready when Cerie trades in her stupid useless costume for the Scary Frau Plotsalot outfit. Suitably clothed in a x-man like moment of glory, she gets Aras and Dani to vote with her to fry Courtney. This conflicts with Shane's expectation to fry Danielle, and Jet Boy's plot to fry Aras. So they got to the Jeff Pit and no sooner does Jeff set her up to say "everybody has given me a clean slate..." than the votes come back and Courtney is toast. Shane and Terry are stunned but ze Frau has the shit eating'est grin you ever did see. :)
Barely controlled maniacal laughter from Cerie... generally on-going throughout the episode.
My own voice... hollering at the TV for Aras to hurry up on the lily pads so we can see Cerie try to do them!!! Alas. No such fun was in the offing.
Most Memorable Moment
Had to be watching Aras just lay into Cerie's big wet self and push her over the fence she was climbing. He was acting like a man possessed with the desire to win and saddled with the reality that there was no fricking chance...
Still looks like it's going to be Terry to the final two and who ever he thinks he'll win against... will be the winner. Nobody on the Jury is gonna vote for him.
(aka "Tribal Council")
Man... could you see Cerie getting taller? After that dorky showing at the Reward game she really came through with the fish and the killer plot. Jeff walked everyone through their paranoia about the final two and then he brings up "So everybody thinks you're annoying?" with Courtney. She laughs... and makes like it's all good. Gah... they love to set ‘em nice and high before they chop their legs off. She goes down in total flames.
~ and for the next three days Shane and Terry will wonder why they didn't fry Cerie ages ago.
~ So if Cerie goes the distance and wins I will ... seriously... laugh my ass off.
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