Mostly harmless (corto) wrote,
Mostly harmless

Amazing Race 9 Update!!

Amazing Race 9 Update!!

Baby Dammit

And they're off... on another episode that shows us several important things... like, how NOT to behave as a couple, that not all black people can throw a spear, it hurts to smash plates over your own head and that a grown man in a diaper is just too much for Monica to resist.

Good Afternoon Race Fans...
(aka “The show mechanics...")
Six teams remain and we're starting in Italy...
~ clue it to Rome via the train (total "bunch up") and a ferry... and no, that doesn't mean they brought back the first Philiminated team to carry the racers into Rome.
~ find Trevi Fountain and look for a guy waiting on a red and yellow scooter. :)
~ Clue over to the "Spanish steps" and pretend we're in the Da Vinci Code for a few moments searching around carriages and sorting out a "clue".
~ Fly to Athens, Greece (another "bunch up") and listen to Monica deliver a bunch of lines from some grade 8 history text book... "Thinking began here!" (arrrrrg!)
~ Fast Forward time: The Frats and MoJo smash plates looking for a game marker... The Frats win... and then get silly dumping great stacks of plates over themselves "Ahh dude, I cut myself..." Meanwhile... MoJo can't get a cab. Late and lost as usual, The Olds show up and realize they are... very old and very slow.
~ If you didn't get the FF... then you gotta take a "train to the Isthmus Station"... not a "train to the station before the Isthmus Station and a bus from there to Isthmus".
~ Road Block... BUNGEE!! (in the pouring rain) Just say'en... this totally did not look fun for Fran. hahaha...
~ Detour: ancient Olympics or ... play with some pottery shards. So the Olds do the pottery ... because their feeble and Lake does the pottery because... "oh look, we're here... let's do this". Everybody else chucks a discus, tries to throw a javelin (nobodies gonna call Ray a "spear chucker") and then wrastle a grown man in a diaper.
~ then drive across the island looking for some old fort and the Pit Stop. Normally, not a hard thing to do... however, these are not normal people. BJ and Ty get lost... driving the wrong way for an hour, Barry takes out the rear window in his vehicle ("I didn't see it" - surprise surprise) while doing a sixty five point turn between two trees... with vacant fields to the left and right... Lake gets so worked up that Misha has to, like... take him to his happy place at the side of the road while he calms down... and loses the race.

The Good
Remove their clothing, and the Hippy Boys are constantly acting out action scenes from All Boy Porn. Their clothes are not off, however, so it just looks like they really like each other. Oh and they both make Phil endure big sloppy cheek kisses at the end... bwaahahaha... These guys are pure entertainment.

The Bad
"It's what I do... I cry all the time." Monica... aka The Crier... gets a talk'en to from Joseph for being such a negative little downer of a blonde. Although she did look kinda cute when she tried to help Joseph push the guy in the diaper out of the wrestling circle... "oh a man in a diaper... gimmi... gimmi!"

The Ugly
Wondering if Fran was gonna expire as she stepped off the Bungee platform.

The Exceptionally Pathetic
"You never handed it to me Bitch... now shut up!"... Oh how I am NOT going to miss Lake.

The Losers
Team Black and Team Hippy are punished for taking a train and a bus to Isthmus Station with a 15 minute "sit there" at the Pit Stop... which appears to threaten the Hipsters with sixth (last) place... but hurrah... it's Lake, his thin lips, his flip out temper and his make-me-sick-yes-man for a wife in sixth place. We were totally sure it was gonna be a non-elimination round... but we were wrong. :) See ya Lake...

The Winners…
The Frat boys win again... this time, thanks to the Fast Forward. They also got this extra prize of seeing the Premier of The Da Vinci Code and doing the red-carpet, which could actually be a punishment if Joan Rivers or her freak show of a daughter are anywhere in sight.

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