Mostly harmless (corto) wrote,
Mostly harmless

Amazing Race 9 Update!!

Amazing Race 9 Update!!


And they're ... all very smelly... like fish. Somebody bawls... somebody gets lost, and somebody yells at his wife a lot... Oh and Lakes date has a little fashion tip for ya... you need some string, boobs and a t-shirt... but we'll get to that later.

Good Afternoon Race fans...
(aka “The show mechanics...")
Historic Sicily ... destroyed by a tribe called "the Vandals" that begat the common term... (cool factoid!) is the starting block for tonight’s leg!
~ Clue it to the town of Catanya (or as Bj calls it... "the Star Wars cantina") and find another clue in another ruined amphitheater.
~ run around a big circle and count the fence posts (with carved heads on them), then get another clue for telling a dude in a suit the correct number of heads (41).
~ Detour: big fish, little fish... Lug a 35 lb sword fish that is dripping icor and fish juice around for a while or convince strangers to buy some schmelts or whatever those little fish were in a market stall. Only the "olds" did the schlepping-fish thing... everybody else got covered in sword fish gew. :)
~ Clue it to Sircusa (or whatever), via a drive all the way across the island of Sicillia and find another clue...
~ then it's Road Block time, with a really goofy "kayak polo" thing where one team member gets in the short-bus version of a kayak and theoretically has to score a goal for the "yellow team" ... which turns out to be.. Everyone on both teams giving you the ball so you can try and throw it without tipping your dingy over. The only fun part of this was watching Lake have conniptions on shore as his date "throws like a girl". hahahaha....
~ then head for the mat and Phil. The four-boys... E&J (frats) and Bj & Ty (the throw-back-to-the-70's-boys) lead the pack across Sicily and handily take first (The Frats) and second. Sadly... the nerds come in last and ... where the hell is a Non-Elimination round when you really want one?

The Good
Bj and Tyler just keep on give'en it up for the humor. After draping a big dead sword fish over their shoulders and running around the streets of some little village for a while they are ... understandably, covered in fish juice. The finish that challenge and run into MoJo on their way to start the challenge... and both boys offer up lovely warm hearted hugs to Monica... who is all congenial and enjoys the hugs... right up until she realizes she's been fish-juiced!
Oh, and when they get to the first clue first (the clue in Catanya) they have to wait for this place to open at 8:30 am... so they make a note with "Official Check In" on it and put their names on, then crash out in their car. The Frats almost - but not quite - fall for it... they started to write their names on the list... :)

And a final "memorable moment" with the nerds before they get kicked to the curb... when they decide that nerd boy will do the kayak thing, Lori calls to him "May the force be with you..." That is soooo the ultimate nerd mantra!

I officially love the black couple. Yolanda and whatever his name is. They did the fall-in-love on the net thing, they meet for the race... and they're just as happy and well adjusted as can be. Score one for internet romance! :) I'm not too impressed with her take on driving strategies... "drive as fast as you want as much as you want..."

The Bad
WTFFFFF is up with Lake and his date? They're wearing this "traveling wallet" or something on a strappy harness that places the gadget directly over their diaphragm... the center of the chest... with a stringy strap running horizontally around the body and straps crossing above and over the shoulders. Looked kinda neat on Captain Waxes His Chest but ... it basically turned into a "check out ma titties" contraption on her. I mean ... seriously... you couldn't make the strings honk her boobs out there more if you tried.
Ok... maybe not so "bad" after all... :)

The Ugly
The truth. It's ugly... but it's out there. MoJo have to stop in the night to get directions to the first clue... why they didn't have a map is beyond me, but whatever... They stop on the road and ask this stranger at a car for help... he gives them all kinds of help ... and his map! Jo's observation in the car as they drive away? "I cannot believe these countries! I mean, it's 5:00 in the morning... and you stop somebody in the middle of nowhere... in the US, there is no way in hell I'd stop, I'd think I was about to get murdered."

The Exceptionally Pathetic
Barry ... the old guy... I mean, the old girl, Fran, is just dumb, but dude is totally pathetic. His reaction to all adversity is to have a flipping tantrum of self aggression... I expected him to pull out a cat-o-nine-tales and start to flagellate (look it up) when they hit rush hour traffic at the first clue. These two are constantly lost and I have no idea how they are still in the game.

The Losers
Poor little nerdy nerds. They were cute... they were cliche and ... they couldn't hack a physical race. Bu-bye.

The Winners…
The editors had fun with the four boys tonight... they had to keep flashing their names and position "First Place" "Second Place" as the two teams jockeyed back and forth. Eric and Jer came in first and got a cruise for their trouble, but only by slim fortune as the Throw-backs were right behind 'em.
And I'm thinking the Black Couple wins the big prize. :)

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