Mostly harmless (corto) wrote,
Mostly harmless
corto

Amazing Race 9 Update!!

Amazing Race 9 Update!!


Ah Feel Dumb (da, na-na-na-na-na-na-na)



And they're off... ... getting lucky, getting burned, fondling clothes and building statues. It's the big moment... the make or break moment... when we find out ... once and for all... if the boob is mightier than the brawn. Oh, and Lake goes on about having his thumb in his bum.



Good Afternoon Race Fans...
(aka "The show mechanics...")
Rest? What rest? It's a middle-of-the-night departure (2:15 am) for E&J (the Frat boys) from Munich!
~ Fly to Palermo, Italy... not that any of them can pronounce Palermo.
E&J get a great start... and end up in the Airport playing on a bunch of Airport Courtesy wheelchairs with the Throwbacks, while Lake and his kill-joy head for the internet ...
~ Find the Teatre Masimo! (you know... "Masimo" that faggy looking guy that designs the clothes for Zellers!)
~ Drive to Del Golfo and grab your Detour!
Carry Star Jones' ass up a hill ...er... I mean carry this giant Cast Iron Bell up a hill or stand on a balcony and play with other peoples laundry. Ray and Joseph are flipp'en strong yo! ... everybody else was keen to fondle the clothes.
~ Head to ancient Amphitheatre for a Yield and a Road Block
Unless you are Lake... in which case you'll bypass the Amphitheatre and mosey on over to the Pitt Stop where you'll realize you're an idiot and then head for the Amphitheatre.
~ Road Block : Assemble this David statue and manage to cope with the notion that Phil tossed in two extra pieces just to fuck with you.
This totally nails Nerd Girl and one of the Boo... er... Daniels. Lori (Nerd Girl) actually took her David completely apart from FINISHED because she wanted to make the extra two pieces fit!!
~ Got your statue? Go find Phil.
BJ and Ty get to Phil way out in front... Phil give's em a prize (a digital camera, printer and pc) called the "Digital Imaging Prize" and the boys are totally giving Phil the "WOW DIGITIAL IMAGING!" sound bite... Phil was killing himself! (I totally bet the cutting room floor has Phil snorting in laughter).

The Good
BJ & Ty ... in all ways. Especially their "bowling" and "Moms" pastel coloured shirts... :)
They get to the airport and totally nail the best flight out... E&J manage to scam "stand by" seats and chat up the ticket girls (d'uh) and everybody else? Totally burned. Lake, in now "cliché" Lake style, ends up on the very worst flight!. (I can still see him standing on the roof of the VW in a corn field).

The Bad
Monica starts the show with a little cleavage and "People look at me and think I'm a dumb blonde!". Er... No, actually people look at you, undress you with their eyes and imagine your hair as a lovely handle! You're just kinda dumb and think their thinking that. :) Of course, she spends the rest of the show saying things like "I feel dumb."

The Ugly
K, Lake and Michelle are bugg'en me! Michelle calls the boys playing on the wheelchairs "Dumb Asses" revealing much about her personality. Lake, on the other hand, just spends the night saying "Dang it..." and "We sat around with our thumbs up our butts.!".

The Exceptionally Pathetic
You know, Fran and Barry will prol'y win the damn race!! Of course, if they continue to be blind idiots... maybe not. They walk back and forth in front of another invisible clue box again.
Oh, and the Dani's can't drive a stick? (WTF? ... it should be a pre-req to get on this show!)

The Losers
Phil: "Well you certainly were the fastest hook ups in the show!"
Corto Translation: "Whoa... you guys are such Hoes!!!"
I'm guessing "Heart" and "boobs" are not, after all, really assets in this show.
Lake and Michelle actually took the time to Yield the Dani's at the Amphitheatre ... not sure if this killed them but sure bummed them out! :)
Either way... they're last to see Phil and they GO!

The Winners…
BJ and Ty are just dancing through this episode (the whole show in-fact) and they're having fun!!! Gotta say... if ever anyone deserved to win... :)
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