Mostly harmless (corto) wrote,
Mostly harmless
corto

Amazing Race 9 Update!!

Amazing Race 9 Update!!


Planes, Trains and Automobiles.



And they're ... still going... on a mad dash around Germany. "We were the last team to arrive at the psych-you-out pit stop!" (Team Nerd) After the psych out, it's all about not making flights, fighting over cabs, not getting lost, digging for gnomes and smashing each other in the head. Oh, the fun never stops.



Good Afternoon Race fans...
(aka “The show mechanics...")
Well, we ended last week at the mat with The Philiminator handing them another clue...
~ Get to the airport... Fly to Frankfurt, Train to Stuttgart, and cab it to the Merc Benz factory.
Wicked luck and terrible burns in the airport, and mad dashes for taxis but everyone ends up lined up for a Mercedes Benz car ride.
~ Go for a ride in a Benz on a test track with the guy that makes those car commercials ("professional driver, don't try this at home...") when he's not doing Dr. Bombay voice overs...
This is totally cool... on a race-car-set like test track. I could smell that electric brushes from here!!
~ Road Block at a field of buried garden gnomes, looking for your gnomish clue.
The early flights, and the girls getting dead-lost on the Autobahn, means the players are pretty well spaced out arriving to the Gnome field. It's a big rolling green field with gnome hats or gnome legs in the ground appearing as half buried gnomes. Eight of them have Gnomes with clues under them... There's dozens... and the field is big.
~ then Detour... dress up in ill fitting Lederhosen (poor Lori, squishing into hers) Break prop bottles of fake-wine over each other or learn a leg and foot slapp’en drunk guy dance.
The dance looked impossible to me... and the pinks nailed it SNAP! Actually several teams get it, after trying the smashing bottles thing.
~ they boogie to the pit stop and say hi to Santa.

The Good
K... Bj and Tyler (come on they're gay... right?)... the Throw Back boys are just great. They start by tipping Phil - first time in 9 seasons - and they end it running backwards to the pit stop mat, turn round and call the little bearded Bavarian gnome like guy "Santa"!!! :D :D

Eric and Jeremy... "The biggest Casanova’s in the history of the show" (or so says Phil)... totally catch a break getting to the airport and getting the last two seats on the 7:05pm flight to Frankfurt. Then they haul ass to the train and just make the trip to Stuttgart... Of course, in cliché show tradition, the destination doesn't open till 8:30 in the morning... But still... lucky lucky lucky... Oh, and Lake was there in the airport... seconds behind the Frat Boys. (haha!!) Two other teams (The Throw Backs and the freak Lake) get the 9:30 flight and the rest have to wait till morning!!

The Bad
Lake is such an amazing pussy... but lucky? oh yeah. He picks up a drunk guy on some back country road... instant tour guide Barbie. Then when he goes for the "break prop wine bottles" thing... this deal where you're looking for a clue on the back of a label... he can't bring himself to whack wifey-poo in the head... even after she clobbers him across his temple!! (Perhaps all of his abuse is verbal!) So he taps her, and of course she complains that it hurts and presto! he gets the clue on the second bottle. Other couples are smashing away like mad and ultimately have to give up and try the "learn this hard slap dance" thing...

The Ugly
Charo in a cab in Munich... "Schlop!!! Schlop!!!" hahaha... Desiree points out that the correct term is "Schnel"... and then mom lets go with a lovely Latin version of Schnel... and daughter comes back with "Do you have to say everything in spanglish?" You know these guys are hard core trailer and daughter is doing everything in her power to break-out. Sadly, they have no sense of direction, so breaking out ... is off the table. Little Miss Bushy Eye Brows can't find her gnome... and dude...it's the night time / flashlight zone but the time she finds her clue. There is much whimpering and whining... and laughing at her while she actually dug in the dirt under a gnome part ... - a hole that held an "already found" clue.

The Exceptionally Pathetic
Charo and Desiree get lost (driving the wrong way on the highway) and the Pinks follow them... ok shit happens. After they realize they were lost on the Autobahn to Munich (I was humming kraftwerk... was anyone else?) they all take off again... and the Pinks decide to follow again!!!!! And, of course, Charo misses the turn and ... once again arrives at the "we're going the wrong way" zone. Hugely d'oh!!! Dani later laments... "I wish we weren't always fighting to not be last." ... and I'm just saying... THINK FOR YOURSELVES FOR ONCE and this may stop being a problem for you!!!

The Losers
Fortunately ... it's Wanda and Desiree that get fried and it's not one of those mamby pamby Non-Elimination rounds... so good riddance to bad eyebrows. :)

The Winners…
Well the Frats are dominating. They made that flight and set a pace they kept up for the rest of the leg. They even get the St. Pauli girl in attendance at the smash-the-bottle game to give 'em big lipstick kisses... (although the Throw Backs hit her with an actual German pick up line, so ... go you guys. and I still think they're gay... and lovers. lol)
The real fun is the nerds... They were dead last at the start of the show and managed to get ahead of the idiot girls and snag fifth place. Although previews for next week show nerd-girl having a melt down...

* did you get that reference?

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  • shiver

    You know that shiver you get through your shoulder blades and down your back when you feel cold. Maybe you’ve just left the restaurant and you’re…

  • selfie

    as I read and read and read about "Selfies"... I quietly say to myself... "um... yeah, tell me again how selfies are a new thing." lol. :)

  • Monday, February 17, 2014

    Hiya. :) Today was one of those “oh look… LJ is still there” days. Oh how I miss the old days when LJ was pretty much a playground filled with my…