Survivor XII: Exile Island!!
Taking One For The Team
Where in... the madness of Shane completely overwhelms his loony-ness, and his pants keep falling down. They all play an all-or-nothing game, and the nothings get less than nothing when the winners save the cute one from the old boys club. One tribe parties likes it's 1999 and the other? Has to hack off a leg.
Survivor 12... in 12 seconds...
(aka "The show in as few words as possible")
"Hi I'm Shane... and I'm a complete waste of air and my pants wont stay up. Kill me." Everyone else on Casaya... "Yea!!!". Astro-boy decides to confide is space-man-ness to Nick after extracting a promise of silence... then Astro-boy tells everyone else. Big Game, for all the marbles, of puzzle retrieval and assembly. It's for immunity and a vast Panamanian party or a reward. Casaya comes from way behind to snag the win, and they get to send a loser to exile-island. So, after they rescue Sally's knee-sox, it's party time, Panamanian fisherman style. A sad and dejected Lamina has to vote, so they all chuck ancient and feeble Astro-boy. Finally.
Night 14 and Shane, is a nut job. He tries to engage Danielle in a war of words in the middle of the night and she's having none of it. So he tries in the day time and she's having even less. He wants "out of the alliance" and wants them to release him from his "swear on my kid" thing... and then god came down and smote him... er... or at least... should smote him... he's totally smote-able. The girls are completely sick of his shit and agree to can his sorry, skinny, can't-hold-up-his-pants ass next chance they get. And Cerie... laughs. Meanwhile, it's Brokeback fishing-boat time with Astro-boy and Nick as Dan shares his Astro-ness with Nick and Nick acts like he just met Gandhi. Despite this being a big secret... Dan is blah blah blah’ing about it with the whole tribe in no time. Scary tree mail ... another skull thing. The game? run, untie big knots, carry and run and repeat. Then assemble this trippy puzzle thing with the collected pieces (fit different shaped skulls into these rotating sockets - hard to explain). Lamina, expecting to be big dogs ... are pig dogs after blowing an early lead by relying on Astro-boy to have a brain. The winners (Casaya with nut-bar Shane and Blob Girl Cerie) get to send a Laminite to exile-island, thereby keeping that person from the vote. They pick Sally - who was the sure thing to go on Lamina! This totally screws up Lord Terry's (aka Jet Johnson) plan and they end up agreeing to fry Dan because... he's weak, old and, well... they can. Meanwhile, Casaya is feasting in a fishing village with a bunch of locals that CBS no doubt decked out with a months supply of chicken, etc. for the fest. Waldo gets a smoke and gets a head-rush for his trouble, and everyone eats like piglet’s. Cerie is some pissed about the big happy coming off this party, because she's worried they'll stop being mad at the amazingly insane guy and remember that she's totally useless. Lamina goes to council, Dan raises his hand, and everyone else shoots him. Bye Dan.
"I want out of the alliance... give me my son's name back!"
woah! Not only does he delude himself so completely to think anybody gives a rats ass about his "son's name" but he actually asks to made the tribe pariah. Dear Shane... you are a loooooooser!
Or as Danielle says, "He's just a freak!"
After losing the challenge by .. being a dolt, and watching their scape-goat (Sally) take a ride out to safety, er... exile island, Desperate Dan (aka Astro-Boy) actually asks Nick... "Do you think Austin is interested in leaving?" bwaahahahahaha... (dies!)
Most Memorable Moment
The big challenge... the "seventh game in the world series" and Astro-boy is at the plate, it's 1-4, bases loaded, 3 and 2, .... and he totally blows it. The camera angle for the final blow covers Astro-boy literally pounding on his square peg, over that round hole, trying to force it in, while Casaya is jumping up and down in victory. Frak'en beautiful*. bwahahahaha...
Man, it's not gonna be Bruce. Loners don't last.
I'm all about wanting it to be Sally... but she's not talking real smart. We'll see. :)
(aka "Tribal Council")
Dom Jeff: "So this has got to be hard... "
Idiot Dan: "naw..." and raises his hand when Jeff asks if they have a plan.
He walks into the gas chamber smiling.
~ Next week.. is the non-show show... big review, a few new scenes and ... useless. AND IT'S ON WEDNESDAY night. Then the week after? Nothing. The week after that? A new show, on Thursday. so three weeks from yesterday.!!
~ Danielle's teeth are too big for her mouth... it seems. Fortunately so few people look at that oversized bit of her anatomy ... who's gonna say anything.
* sorry, I just watched BSG. :D
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