Mostly harmless (corto) wrote,
Mostly harmless

Survivor XII Update!!

Survivor XII: Exile Island!!

50 lbs of Sushi

Where in... a reward game finally loads them down with food, Bobbie goes all East LA on Earth mama, and eager eaters get beaned... but good. Oh, and Shane is a complete head case. I'm thinking there’s a Nurse Ratchet out there somewhere looking for this flip chart.

Survivor 12... in 12 seconds...
(aka "The show in as few words as possible")
Courtney is flashing her ass crack at the Zen garden, and Arys is being an arse to Bruce. Bruce meanwhile, is a control freak and doesn't take criticism very well. Team Blob throws dead fish around for Reward and ends up big winners, but mother nature totally floods Camp Casaya, so now they're sushi eating losers. Jet Johnson is off to Exile island again but has to pick between beans and rice for his tribe before he goes... he picks... gas, because he's a sick bastard. Nick and Austin improperly prepare a pot of beans, eat them, and spend the next 20 hours sick as dogs... Meanwhile Bobbie holes up in the "log cabin" with Sensei Psycho and a bottle of wine... the rest of the gang that earned that wine? not happy. They play "put together the pyramid puzzle" for immunity, which, of course, involves Astro Boy whacking his shrunken head on the underside of a boat in the lagoon. Terry and the rest of team Bean win the big "I" so Shane starts swearing on his kids head again. Bottom line: you don't go drinking everyone’s wine in this game... Bu Bye Bobbie and how the hell is Cerie still here?

The Details
Brucio is all about his Zen rock garden, which looks very nice by the way, but Arys gives voice to the standard "you're playing while we're working" crap. He and The Bruce go at it for a bit but end up kissing and licking each other. Courtney doesn't get off so easy. She's all yoga-girl at the rock garden, but Bruce is allergic to girl-bent-over-ass so has a mini shit fit and shows his true intolerant colours. They play a reward game that involves them retrieving beans, rice and a bunch of dead fish from a boat and tossing all this stuff along a chain gang for the prize... which is "to keep all the food". The game includes hacking off the fish head and tail, and despite Kung Fool Bruce having what appeared to be game ending trouble hacking off this one fishes head, Casaya still manages to win. So they take 50 lbs of raw fish, beans and rice back to what was their camp but is now a swamp. Lamina gets to keep either the beans or the rice, and Terry - en route to exile island again - selects beans (for some god forsaken reason). The pretty boys at Lamina chow down on their beans and then suffer gastro-intestinal-torture for the next 20 hours... Meanwhile back at Camp Flood, everyone crams into their sleepy-hut except Bruce, who sleeps in the Outhouse, and Bobbie, who grabs a bottle of wine and appears to get Sensei Psycho to ride the tower of power in the log cabin over night... Nobody is impressed with his drinking the bottle of wine, but instead of using the opportunity to be apologetic, he is a complete asshole to Courtney. No matter how annoying she might be, he was out of line. She should have stabbed him... to death. Immunity comes next and it's a puzzle with the pieces in coffins on the bottom of the lagoon. Astro boy gets a great head smack on the underside of Lamina's boat, but they go on to win regardless. Now it's all about watching Cerie do the happy dance that Bobbie was such a git. They go see Jeff and boot Bobbie back to base camp.

Fav Quotes
Confronted over the wine thing, Bobbie turns to Courtney and says; "I feel bad, but I don't feel bad about depriving you of your wine..." and goes on to endear himself a little more to her friends and family.

Shane, every time you turn around; "I swear on my kid..." and then, in an "I'll never vote you out" moment with Arys, "now you swear... swear on my kid."

and the network had a screw up and totally messed Bobbie's exit speech, but it sure sounded like he was calling every one dicks and hoes.

Most Memorable Moment
Kung Foo Charlie, going ape shit over the damn fish with his hatchet and ... basically being incapable of delivering a severing blow... was classic. Remember Jamie, last season, trying to cut a rope with a rock (to release some cart thing)? ... reminded me of that.

The winner...
Fricken Jet Johnson appears to be having no trouble at all with this whole deal... I can see him dominating, and with that hidden idol? He's golden.

Skull Time
(aka "Tribal Council")

So they were going to go for Bobbie, then changed to The Call Me Bruce, then back to Bobbie. And then for some inexplicable reason, the votes were all over the place. In fact, Mr. Swear On My Kid, votes for Arys... but fortunately, Bobbie gets three votes and goes. Oh, and at some point, Arys raises his hand to respond to something... kinda made him look like a pussy. Just say'en...

Two Things...
~ I have always loved the video transits and techniques in this show. The awesome helicopter approaches to the island, the crabs on the beach, ... the way they speed up and then stop-on-a-dime video transitions. It's always been pretty cool.
~ I'm surprised Daniel didn't move mountains to get the girls to vote Shane’s completely insane self off the damn island.

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