Survivor XII: Exile Island!!
Where in... the whole lord-of-the-flies you-should-work-harder vibe finally kicks in, and we get the added benefit of watching boobie girl get a mental drubbing from crazy Memento boy. Oh, and puppies at Lamina spend way to much time jumping back and forth over Jet Johnson saying "so... what are we gonna do today Spike?"
Survivor 12... in 12 seconds...
(aka "The show in as few words as possible")
Astro boy is sucking up to the Zombie over at camp "Terry Is Our God", and at camp Blob, the big useless lump of woman (aka Cerie) sits around watching the crazy people go at it. Reward is an outhouse, and Big Bobby is pack'en a fifteen pounder so he's highly motivated. Casaya wins reward and sends Jet Johnson to the Exile island... and in his absence, the rest of Lamina simpers and struggles. Jet-boy finds the hidden Exile island idol, and comes back to help Lamina lose another challenge. It's looking bad for Knee Sock girl but, fortunately, the useless zombie woman with the hemorrhoids get's the boot instead.
Whiter-than-White, Astro boy shimmies over to Ruth-Marie and invites her into his alliance with the other boys. Ruthy and her "oh my god, my eleven pound hemorrhoids hurt" stilted walk, and with her vacant zombie face, is all about happy at this deal, but trusting the Astro Boy is clearly not a good idea. Meanwhile, back at Casaya, Arys, Bruce, and Shane are acting like they wrote the rule book and start bitching about the girl’s work ethic. Despite all Courtney's contorting, bending and squishing, Bruce still doesn't like her. They play a reward game that calls for athletic ability, swimming, and puzzle solving... so Cerie is totally useless. Despite that, Casaya still wins and that's mostly because Earth Mother Courtney shows everyone how to do it. Winning earns them an out-house and the chance to send a Lamina to Exile Island. They want to use the toilet for a wood shed, and they send Jet Johnson to the Island. (they should have sent the 300 year old Astro boy, and finished him off). Terry goes to the island, builds a fire, relaxes with the clues and then finds the idol. (ahhhhh). While he's busy finding the idol, the rest of the Laminas honestly act as though they've got shit for brains. Basically, they're the headless chicken in the barnyard, and Terry is the severed head. Shane decides it's time to really earn his stripes as a mean spirited freak show, so he lays into Boobie girl like he's special. She tries to stand up to him (good girl) but he definitely depresses the crap out of her. Immunity is one of those "run back and forth collecting water" things that is used to fill a bucket and counterbalance a swing with a player sitting on it. Clearly Blob girl is not on a swing. However, Casaya still wins and that means Lamina is set to fry Sally and her cute knee sox. She really shined at the competitions, while Zombie girl ... does not. Austin see's this and campaigns for her to stay... and Astro Boy is asked to turn on his handshake with Ruth Marie. Astro Boy is sooo happy. Jet Johnson came back from the Island and explains... "Yeah, I looked for ... about 2 hours." and Nicks face is all "you went to the island for two days and only looked for 2 hours? yeah... and I believe you." I see unrest in camp Lamina, with Astro Boy's god (Terry) asking Astro Boy to fry his chick (zombie girl) and Nick thinking Terry is a lying sack of .... They go to council and talk it up, but they fry Zombie Girl and we get at least one more week of knee sox.
Astro Boy: "When Terry gets back, he's going to be so proud of the way the camp looks."
Translation: "While our god, The Terry, is gone we can't do anything right but we'll clean things up and hope we impress his lordship."
Astro boy prol'y holds Terry's penis while he pees...
Most Memorable Moment
So after fighting through a challenge and winning an actual outhouse (with loads - no pun intended - of toilet paper) and a shower, soap, and towels, the Casaya brainiacs decide to use it as a wood shed... well, Arys decides this... Bobby decides something different. He trucks over to the outhouse and takes a big honking dump. Bwahaha... Danielle - aka boobie girl, is all agog, with "I don't think that was a wise decision!". Personally, I hope it's a real stinker. :)
Um... you know, Bruce showed a little nasty side of himself when the "work ethic" issue came up... and that kind of shit 'el get you kicked off when the lazy people rise up. Sally and Terry are my current votes for final two. Sally 'cuz she's cute, and Terry 'cuz he's got the secret idol. :)
(aka "Tribal Council")
Jeff is really drawing things out this season... I mean he might as well have said "So Ruth-Marie... you're basically useless huh?"
~ Astro Boy is freaking me out!
~ Did you see Danielle at the Immunity game? She was wearing a ten pound frown and she's starting to look emaciated... I mean, other than the saline bags.
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