Mostly harmless (corto) wrote,
Mostly harmless
corto

Amazing Race 8 Update!!

Amazing Race 8 Update!!


Lott and his Daughters



It's all about... the Branson and Linz clans - with Daddy Lott lurching along behind the power-puff-girls, jockeying for first and second place. Comic relief from the Clan of the Trailer Bear Weavers and a kind of sad, pathetic slapstick routine from the increasingly stuuuuupid Godlewski girls.



Good Afternoon Race Fans...
(aka “The show, in as few words as possible!")
Mr. Staged-facial-expressions: "... and I have your next clue."
~ Say it with me... "doo - bwa" ! Debois is not do-boys. Just say'en!!
~ Debois Wyoming, and the Turtle Ranch... where, according to several of the racers... is where they raise little tiny turtles... (gah!!!!)
~ Bunch up at the ranch and be trailer people for a while... (oh where are the lovely inn's of Paris, Hotels of St. Petersburg, and Villa along the Mediterranean. hahahahaha!!! Turtle Ranch, Do-boys Wyoming! bwaahahahaha...
~ The ever-hard-done-by Weavers, and the rest of 'em race across a field and...
~ Detour: Assemble a Pioneer trailer (ha!) and drive it with horses from here to there... or build a fricking TeePee. Of course the Comic Relief and the Idiot Godlewski's go for the TeePee while the other guys race past them in their horse drawn chariots...
~ While Beaver Weaver (Rolly) goes for extra weirdness points with his "he's looking at me" moment over the Indian Chief... the front runners are off to Cody, Wyoming and playing dress up with a recently sober Buffalo Bill, and his girlfriend the Camera Girl (the looks she was giving!!)
~ Enough of Wyoming, it's time to really party!
~ Montana here we come...
~ Red Lodge Golf course, with the "compensating for something" golf carts to form the set up for one of the best quotes all season, and a Road Block.
~ Find four specific coloured golf balls on the course and get going to the next Ranch... Unless you would rather walk around the golf course having a hissy fit.
~ Larry's Place near Abernath, Montana... and Phil.
~ Branson’s first... then Megan and her idiots.
~ The Weavers get all homie in town, getting pulled over for speeding and all, but still manage to get to the Philliminator before the complete dip sticks, aka The Now Kicked Out Godlewski Girls... thank goodness.

The Good
Megan... pure and simple. First off, she can cut a pretty darn nice look, and she puts up with the dip-smack crew... but when the boys set off on their Road Block, she came out with "All they gotta do is find their balls..." and bingo, she's a hall-of-famer. :D


The Bad
K, the Weavers bitching about not fitting in and "nobody likes us" was old ages ago... now it's annoying. Oh, and did you see how muscle-memory Beavers grab for the seat belt was at the fist instant of the cop siren. They ended up getting a warning from the local badge for speeding on the way into town... with a trailer.

The Ugly
Sharon’s ass crack and thong as she struggles with the damn golf cart.
... and that Buffalo Bill thing was dodgy. Bill looked like he was glad this was not a speaking part.

The Exceptionally Pathetic
I'd just say "everything about the Godlewski's" but that doesn't do it justice. With one goofy perfectionist, a raging bitch-from-hell, a complete idiot and a breathing deck-post for a team, it's amazing they can accomplish anything at all. They almost lost it completely at the TeePee, but the two of them on the Road Block, trying to drive the zuped up "buick" golf carts and not ditch the passenger at every start and stop was priceless. Sharon (?) gets her stick-in-bum systems up to full capacity and refuses to get in the cart... it's only what? 4 or 5 fairways to search for four little golf balls... why ride? At this point... they lost enough ground to be cast out. Stupid cunt.

The Losers
With an exit speech that focused on the fact that they all think one another to be Britannica’s definition of a twat, and admitting that, as sisters, they're stuck with one another, I'd guess there's no new, loving, family dynamic coming out of this experience for the Godlewski sisters. Watching this had to be painful for them... I mean, seriously. They so utterly deserved to come in last.

The Winners…
The Branson girls have a very strange relationship with their amazingly whipped father. However, they must be getting some cool beans family vibe out of this experience. That being said, they're not gonna win the big money.

The Linz's will win the big money... if I get my way, and that's only because I want Megan to get her share. In fact, it'd be great if sometime next year we all read a story somewhere of how she rooked her brothers out of their shares! :)

Next Week!
Is the END of the season... with curling, Lott complaining, and a Linz boy tussling with the Beaver. Now that's classy.

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