Amazing Race 8 Update!!
Houston? We Have A Problem Here...
It's all about... ... well, UTAH basically. I mean... great state and all but the big ass phallic in the desert? We're all ready for Base Jumping the Cave of the Swallows or something... but you know... Utah. K, so seriously now, they venture forth, race like the wind, and then first place trades with last due to another "production error"... Hello? (tapes on the television) wtf guys?
Good Afternoon Race Fans...
(aka “The show, in as few words as possible!")
So they're all in Salt Lake City after NOT kicking the Weavers to the curb...
~ Bunch up at a High School parking lot to launch hot air balloons
~ Detour at a Rail Yard, making tracks or hauling coal.
~ Go find a big diseased phallic in the bum fuck Utah
~ If you're the Linz family, this is where you get hosed with some "production error" and you fall from number one with a bullet to bum last.
~ Drive some cattle ... or die on your horse... (Godlewski sister's horse racing away with her on it... bwahahahaha)
~ Then hit Wyoming for Yellowstone (Jellystone!!!) Park and Ol'Faithful
~ Drive to another ranch... find Phil, and ... not end the show.
Nothing... No pitt stop... No crying adults... grrrr...
The Good
The Weavers are the only entertainment on the show. I just wanna smack the Linz brothers and the Branson skags deserve nothing and how on earth are those Godlewski girls still in this game? They should be armed... so they can all kill each other. But the Weavers... pray’en one minute, and then insulting people the next. Poor Beaver...
The Bad
The Linz brothers put all together way too much energy into being mean to the Weavers... Of course, this is the Weavers we're talking about so... I can't get too upset. Makes for good tv.
The Branson girls... are just nasty little things. Laughing in their fathers face as he makes another "I'm an idiot" statement... He always looks like he needs to have his bottom lip wiped. He's got vast creepage'ness... but still...
The Ugly
Detour with laying a rail line section or moving a butt load of coal from here to there. Weavers do the coal... everyone else hammers... including the God-klutz-ski sisters. They shouldn't be allowed to use hammers. But man... are they ever flipp'en nasty bitches to their nut bar - talker - sister, Chris. Mean city and they're watching this now... (hahaha!). "Don't talk to me like I'm an animal" say's Chris, after they bark shit at her again... then Michelle fricking growls at her... gah! I mean... they get stuck having to 180 the trailer again... (but at least they asked some passer by to help them)... they're just one dumb ass situation after another and all the while the three of them rag on endlessly at the little sister. Actually... the camera held one of the sisters for a moment and I was honestly like "who the hell is that?". They spend a lot of time with the camera on Chris the Crier.
The Exceptionally Pathetic
First in, first out at the get go... Linz Kidz book it at 12:46 am at the start of the show... for the dawn treader in the hot air balloon. The Weavers "depart" at 5:02!!! Nice lead. They bunch up a bit, but then ... what's this? Where are the Linz's'es'z? Why they're dead last and Phils ominous voice comes a'voice'overing with "due to a production error, the cameras drained the car battery and the Linz family has fallen to last place..." WTF? (note the caps there for big scary emphasis!) All y'all didn't realize there was a problem with this setup last week when the camera's drained someone’s battery? Holy head-slapp'en d'uh moment there Phil. Or is it some form of torture that Phil has devised?
The Losers
The Linz's... with that stupid production error.
Otherwise... no losers tonight. Phil just hands them a clue and they're off again.
The Winners…
I'm guessing the Linz's.
Next Week!
The Weavers get pulled over for some traffic violation... and I heard a rumour that the two girls get shot dead in an altercation with the state trooper... I could be wrong ... but you know... a boy can dream.
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